Oh sh-t
by Olivia Janae
Summary: Sometimes drunken wishes on carnival fortunetelling machines bring you packages that you didn't exactly... expect (On extended hiatus. I hope to come back to it, but am currently unsure)
1. Chapter 1

Um... no, I didn't expect to put this up when I woke up today!  
Anyway!

Warning. This is a Chloe based M!P (Magic Penis) story.  
I suppose technically this story is canon because I'm going to place it at some point during college but I'm basically planning on not following the things that happen in canon. So I suppose consider this to be in the years between freshman year and senior, aka between the first and second movie.

This story is SUPPOSED to be 100% ridiculous. Basically I'm writing it because I want a laugh and the full time story I am working on is REALLY heavy. Also because people have been asking me to do a G!P or M!C for years. I always said no to G!P because I was lucky enough to be born a woman in a woman's body. I don't feel like I'm capable of writing gender issues when there are so many more qualified than me. And we know me. I would end up turning the story into a deep angst filled real issues that real people face. So the answer was silly little funny M!C/M!P story. Please, for the love of god, don't take it too seriously. I did my best to research what men go through, but I'm a lesbian who has literally never been face to face a penis in real life so some allowances will have to be made. Hopefully this amuses you.

 **I'm NOT going to do this like I usually do. This story is NOT completely written. I'm just picking up a chapter here and there when my current SQ fic I'm writing gets too difficult and dark. So don't expect regular updates at all.**  
Also. This isn't beta'ed. Sorry!

* * *

"That little pipsqueak!" Chloe cried from the backseat of Jessica's car. Once again Beca-effing-Mitchell had whittled her down to nothing more than a shirking… angry… UGH… she sounded like a boiling tea kettle and she knew it. "That little ... that little jerk!" She squeaked. Her teeth ground together, aggravated by her anger. She knew she wasn't expressing herself well at the moment but she was making her point just the same. "That little ... that little ..." She couldn't think of a word that fit right now.

"Dick?" Stacie offered, flipping down the passenger side mirror so Chloe could see her well-manicured eyebrows lift in suggestion.

"Stacie!" Jessica hissed her eyes darting to the road, Stacie, and Chloe in open mortification at the slander against their beloved captain.

"DICK!" The word exploded out of her. That was perfect. That was the _perfect_ word.

"Oh come on, Jessica." Stacie shrugged. "Being Beca's friend doesn't mean being blind to her faults. We all love Beca."

Jessica's eyes shot to her and the back to the road.

"We do!" Stacie insisted, wiping w bit of nothing from the corner of her lip in the mirror and then closing it. "But when she gets like this she's a dick."

"A little tiny midget sized dick!" Chloe growled at top volume making Jessica wince.

Stacie gave a bark of a laugh. "I don't know, Chloe. I know you're pissed at the cap and all that but I love you like this."

Chloe just growled, breathing from her nose like a bull ready to stampede.

She was mad.

Of course she was mad.

Beca had once again said something… something _shitty_.

 _Once. Again._

 _For no reason._

Or at least, not for a good one.

She hadn't thought twice about it when Amy came downstairs to get a drink and told her that Beca was crying on the phone with her dad. This wasn't the first time. Dr. Mitchel, well, he didn't get her. He had decided to take Beca's decision to stay at Barden as a reflection on him, instead of a reflection on Beca's newfound passion and dedication to the Bellas. He had been and was insufferable. Even Chloe thought so and she tried hard not to think those kinds of things. These phone calls between Beca and her dad always started out as typical and appropriate calls to see how his daughter was always turned into the same thing: _'You should praise me, Beca, for I, the incomparable Dr. Mitchell, am all-knowing and have swayed your life away from a path of danger. Worship me, 'o disappointment child, else I will pummel you with a slew of bad fatherly jokes and thinly veined criticisms until you surrender.'  
_

It was unfair. He didn't understand anything about Beca at all.

As soon as Amy had told her of Beca's current emotional state, Chloe had risen and gone. That was why Amy had told her, after all. Sometimes Amy was the person best for the job of Beca clean up but most of the time it was her. She had gone up to wrap Beca in a hug and tell her that her dad was an idiot and Beca was amazing. But the moment that Chloe's arms had wrapped around her, Beca had shoved her away and cried, 'Dude, get off! Shouldn't you be studying for Russian Lit so you don't _fail_ again, instead of here on _my_ bed bugging me?'

It happened from time to time. Beca had been hurt a lot and so, like a hurt and angry child, every now and then when in pain she lashed out. It was becoming routine.

"She's my best friend!" She fumed at the women in the front seats. "How can she talk to me like that? She _knows_ that's a - a - a..." a very sore subject.

She was more than her best friend. They were one another's _number one_ ; the friend you cuddled with when sick because they knew getting your cold was inevitable anyway, the one you told all of your secrets to because it would be sacrilegious not to. She wasn't just her best friend, she was her _best_ friend – and she knew she was Beca's. And sometimes... late at night, they were maybe a little more.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it, Chloe." Jessica tried in a small voice, her anxious face pale in the rearview mirror. "She cares about you a lot. You know that. We all know that. She's just ... she's ..."

"She's Beca." Stacie finished for her with no hint of anger, just fact.

That was the thing. Beca _didn't_ mean it. These nasty moments just slipped out of her sometimes. Beca seemed to hate it as much as Chloe and the other Bellas hated it. As soon as she had said it the room had frozen. Amy, who had only just sat back down on her bed, had frozen with her cup midway to her mouth, her eyes wide. Amy had been unmoving, unbreathing for one second ... two ... four ... six, waiting for Chloe to react. Chloe had been frozen though, affronted. She had been stuck standing there, her hands still out like she was going to touch Beca, her jaw slack and wide. She had been too shocked to blink, to breathe even.

And the silence had just gotten longer and longer.

Finally Amy had let out an awkward whistle as if to say 'wow, Beca' and had silently turned and left the room again, more than likely not wanting to be there for the fight that was maybe coming.

Still Chloe hadn't moved, her humiliation at the shaming in front of Amy twisting into anger as Beca stared down at her blankets, wiping away tears that Chloe knew Beca would deny. She could already feel the shame pouring off of Beca.

This happened and it was okay, Chloe had thick skin. She had always taken Aubrey's anger, and so she could take Beca's anger too. She was good at dealing with it and so she forgave Beca of her imperfections over and over again because she cared about her. She let it slide because she knew Beca didn't mean to be so mean. Plus, Beca always felt horrible afterward and so Chloe swallowed down the hurt, accepting it and moving on... ninety percent of the time.

That other ten percent though, that was a doozy. Those times it was like her insides had taken as many nicks as it could before it was too much. Her internal cooling system malfunctioned and she boiled over.

That was how it had been today. She had sat there feeling foolish and small and absolutely _humiliated_ that her best friend would go for such a low blow and in front of someone else. She had stood there beside Beca, watching Beca refuse to look at her and she had begun to boil.

Furious, she had turned and marched out of the room, her arms swinging stiffly at her sides, her mouth pressed into a line, her teeth grinding.

Beca had been calling her before she had even reached the stairs, already ashamed, but she hadn't been able to turn around. If she had then she would have _torn Beca's head off_ and she didn't want to do that. She didn't want to be that person.

She had stomped down the attic stairs, past her own bedroom, down the main stairs and marched straight into the living room to where Stacie and Jessica had been studying. One look at her face and they had been up and ushering Chloe out of the door before Beca could come downstairs and make everything worse.

It was a silent agreement in the Bella house. Chloe was the one who could handle Beca when she was in a bad mood and in return, those few times that Chloe snapped they whisked her away for the afternoon, giving her time to be angry and then to blow off steam.

The one time they hadn't Beca had chased after Chloe, instant that she accept her apology. Everything she had said only made things worse and had ended with Chloe nearly vaulting herself onto Beca in her rage.

Beca had seemed shocked to see Chloe round on her, fire on her face.

"So, guys," Jessica said through the silence that had developed in the car. "Where are we going?"

Stacie looked back at Chloe in question.

She just shrugged. She didn't care. She just didn't want to think about that nasty, humiliating tone that Beca had used on her for just a few minutes.

* * *

It turned out that where to go was an easy choice. Summer was still in full effect and the summer fair still had a week before it closed down and the land was filled with pumpkin patches and autumn farmer's markets.

The fair was a big deal, one of the biggest events in Atlanta for children, teens, and young adults. The Bellas had already been to the fair twice, once for the rides and the other time to look at the exhibits and so Chloe wasn't sure exactly what they were going to do there. The fair was fun, but not for a third time.

They paid, Stacie wrapped an arm around her waist and started to pull her toward the beer garden.

Chloe gave her a grim smile and let herself be led.

Stacie didn't stop pulling until they were standing in front of the Bud Light's booth.

"Hi. Can we please have three talls?" She gave the man behind the booth a wide, glittering smile, the kind that sent men and a few women tripped over their feet to do whatever she asked.

Chloe wasn't exactly a fan of beer, especially not Bud Light but Stacie handed her the first tall plastic cup and she chugged it down to the halfway point before the other two had even been served. To her annoyance, the cold drink gave her a rush of pain to her head but did nothing to quench the angry fire in her.

Stacie watched her drink, seeming honestly impressed.

Chloe blinked up at her, unsure of exactly what she was looking at.

"Soooo…" Stacie turned back to the vendor. "I guess make that four."

Chloe gave a little burp and apologized.

They found a table not far from the booth that was only slightly filthy and the three sat.

"The thing is," she fumed, "she knows exactly why I haven't graduated yet. Exactly! And she _said_ she understands." Chloe took another long drink.

"She does!" Jessica cooed, one hand coming to rest on Chloe's.

"She should be _grateful_! No one else can deal with her when she's like this. No one. There would be a mutiny if I left the Bellas!" Chloe saw Stacie and Jessica exchange small looks and knew that they were thinking that it was an excuse. Chloe moved right on, ignoring them. "And anyway, she's my best friend! She shouldn't talk to me like that!" She was roaring now and she didn't care. She was just so mad!

"What was she so mad about anyway?" Stacie asked.

Chloe drained the rest of her beer and, with a burp, started on the second, drinking down a third before she answered. "I don't know. But her dad called, so whatever horrible thing he had to say."

They both nodded knowingly.

"Asshole," Stacie muttered and Chloe had to agree.

She hated Beca's dad. She hated him because he had created this in Beca. And yes, she knew that this was Beca's fault too, but she hated the man who had started it. He had cut into her over and over again, just for being who she was until Beca had no choice but to learn how to survive. That was not what dads do. Someone should teach him about what dads were supposed to be like.

"So, that's it then?" Stacie asked carefully over the plastic rim of her cup. "Nothing else happening that Beca is being weird about?"

Chloe drained some more, avoiding their eyes. Instead, she focused entirely on a sign across the way, her eyes narrowed. She wasn't going to tell them about the night before, about the kissing and how she had woken this morning in Beca's arms and how that only made this sting more.

She was sure the Bellas knew, they all lived there too after all. Of all of them though, she _knew_ Stacie knew. Sometimes when the making out got a little hot and heavy... or a little hot and grind-y, Chloe could be a little noisy. Beca could too. So Stacie and Flo, having the room right beside Chloe's were probably both completely aware of what was happening between them.

Chloe didn't answer Stacie. She didn't want to talk about the kissing, or how in the morning Beca sometimes – most of the time – got weird. There were a lot of things she didn't want to talk about. Like, how most of the mornings after they shared a bed Beca would be gone, or worst, the fact that when Beca didn't' disappear she would be hesitant or grumpy.

Chloe finished off her second beer.

That wasn't the point right now. The point was about how Beca had treated her. The rest... she would deal with another time.

Or maybe not.

* * *

Hours later and many, many Bud Light's later, they were drunk and Chloe was happy to be so. Stacie was the best company when you decided to get impromptu-day-drunk and Jessica, she wasn't sure she had ever hung out with her like this, minus Ashley and after a few drinks. She was silly and giggly. That was something Chloe already knew about Jessica, but without Ashley there to take her attention, Jessica had been a hoot.

The beer garden hadn't allowed any plastic cups to leave the area so the three of them had matched beer for beer, something Jessica had been surprisingly good at.

"Mmmkay." Stacie set her now empty cup on the table hard enough to make it collapse in on itself. Stacie paused, eyes wide and then tittered with laughter. "I pity the fool who messes with me!" She cried in a loud and _bad_ Mr. T voice, flexing her honestly impressive guns. She then got distracted, trying to bring her lips to her biceps, instead of bringing her arms to her lips.

"Stacie!" Chloe cackled, reaching over and cupping her cheeks to hold her still. It didn't work, the floor suddenly too trippy and instead Chloe fell into her lap.

It only made Chloe and Stacie laugh harder.

"Guuuuuys!" Jessica yowled, her hand on her lower stomach. "Stop being funny, I have to gooooo!"

"Yes!" Chloe's arm shot straight up in the air, her pointer finger out. "Yes! Stacie! Staaaacie, Jessica has to peeeeee!"

A woman passing by the beer garden with a few kids looked at her scandalized.

Chloe hissed her laughter into her cupped hand.

That had been loud. She had been loud.

"Okay, okay, come on, aca-bitches."

Stacie stood, nearly dropping Chloe out of her lap.

"Oh snap!" She cried, catching herself just in time.

Stacie didn't seem to notice and arms thrown around one another they had wobbled and weaved their way out of the garden and into the fair at large.

Maneuvering through a crowd and trying to stay polite was a challenge. No one, it seemed, paid attention at the fair. Kids kept running into her legs or stopping for no reason in front of her.

She did her best not to step on them and kept pulling Stacie out of the way, as she seemed unaware of anything shorter than her mid stomach.

"See! Look at that! How am I supposed to pee in that!" Stacie yelled as they came up to another bathroom line that was overflowing with women. "And look at the guys! No one!"

"You're not supposed to pee in that!" Jessica scorned, wagging her finger drunkenly at Stacie. "You're supposed to wait in that and then pee _inside_ the bathroom. Not in the line."

"Oh my god, Jessica, you're so drunk." Stacie let out a loud guffaw and pushed Jessica's face away, wobbling on her heels a bit. "I'ma use the men-ses."

"No!" Both Jessica and Chloe caught her before she had gone anywhere. Chloe knew without a doubt that Stacie would walk right on in, even when sober.

"They'll kick us out and we can't drive." Chloe insisted, holding tightly to Stacie's arm.

"Ow, muscle woman! Damn!" she pulled away and glared.

"I'm sorry," Chloe frowned. "But don't do it, maybe."

"I gotta goooo! And Jessica," Stacie remembered. "Whada bout poor Jessica too!"

"There's gotta be, there's gotta be one down there. Come on!" Chloe pulled on her arm, sure that somewhere in the fair there had to be a less full area. She had to go too. As a matter of fact, she was going to pop soon but she had no interest in a bathroom that busy. They were always gross and sweaty and smelled bad. "Come oon. Comeon,comeon."

Jessica giggled and drunkenly started singing the correlating Spice Girl's song, her fist pumping in the air. "Come on, come on! Come on, come on! Come on, come on, come on! I SAID!"

"Oh my god, you're so silly. I love it." Chloe giggled, wrapping her free arm around Jessica and pulling them forward. "Where's the beer place? I think we need more beers from the beer place."

Both Stacie and Jessica looked around baffled.

"I don't know where we are," Jessica admitted and they all cackled.

"Oh my god, guys look!" Stacie squealed and started to pull them off to the side. "Deep fried Oreos!"

"Noo, Stacie!" Chloe whined. Trying to hold Stacie back was like trying to hold a horse in place and she kept suddenly bolting one direction or the other, making the exercise very hard. "We haven't completed our mission yet! Remember our mission?"

"But it's deep-fried Oreos! Guys! They have mint Oreos!"

Chloe scowled, thinking that actually sounded horrible. "We have to go to the bathroom, remember. You gotta pee. See." She gave Stacie's lower belly a poke and Stacie crumpled over.

"Don't _do_ that, I have to pee!"

"I _know_!" She cried right back. "That's why we'rea lookin' for it, remember?"

"Fine." She gave a pout and followed along until they saw the corn dog stand, and then the kettle corn stand, and then the hot dog on a stick stand, which Chloe was pretty sure was just a corn dog again.

"Guys, over here! Look, there's a sign and I don't see anyone!" Chloe triumphantly cried. The pressure in her bladder was becoming painful and if she didn't go soon she thought she might start to cry.

They all cheered and ran toward the bathroom, which was really more of a drunken shuffle.

"Noooo!" Jessica cried, pulling on the door. It was locked.

"Why the hell would it be locked?" Chloe cried, her legs crossed. "That's so stupid! How can anyone use it if it's locked! You can't get through locked doors!"

"Hey!" Stacie banged on the door with her fist. "Let us in! We gotta go!"

Somehow the door remained locked. "Okay. Come on ladies. Let's try over here." She pulled them around the corner and into a secluded patch of the fair. For a moment she blinked around, confused. Were they supposed to be there? Had they somehow found the backstage employee-only area?

"Whatever," she mumbled. She didn't really care. She had to find a bathroom or so help her.

"Fuck it," Stacie announced. "I'm gonna pop a squat."

"What?" Chloe frowned as Stacie looked around and then began to unbutton her jeans.

"Oh my god, Stacie! No!"

"I – have – to – pee, Chloe!"

"I know! I know, I know, but you're gonna get us kicked out!"

"What if someone sees you?" Jessica hummed, scandalized.

"I don't care! They'll get a good show! Maybe they'll be into that!"

"Just a little further! Come on, please!"

For a moment it seemed like Stacie wasn't going to budge and then with a growl she let Jessica pull her on.

They didn't walk far. They passed one empty booth and then another before Jessica let out an excited screech that sent Chloe's foggy head ringing.

"Bathroom?" She looked around.

"Guys! Oh my god, you guys, look!" Jessica dragged them, literally dragged them across the path. "Look! It's one of those old fortune teller machines!"

Nestled between a pitch-till-you-win booth and a patch of bushes was indeed one of those old-fashioned machines. A plaster man sat inside, his wide green eyes a toxic neon color that sent uncomfortable goosebumps down Chloe's skin.

"This is so cool! I've always wanted to find one of these."

The plaster man's hands were covering a crystal ball and just off to the right, above the quarter slot was a brass plate that read 'hand goes here'.

"Nooooo," Chloe frowned, pulling away from Jessica's arm.

"We have to make a wish! We have to!"

"I don't know," Chloe frowned. "Look at him!"

"He's so great!" Jessica giggled, making Chloe laugh herself.

Stacie, it seemed, didn't care about the treasure Jessica had just found. In fact, her hands were scrambling at the button of her very short shorts again. "Whatever, I gotta go. Comeon, Chlo."

"What?" She screeched, pulling away and into Jessica's body for protection.

"Come pee with me!"

Stacie never went to the bathroom alone when they were out, Chloe knew that. And at a club or a bar or the movies, Chloe usually went with her, happy for the company.

…But this was a _bush_.

"Ugh, you suck!" Stacie grumped and stomped off.

"Stacie!" Chloe cried, both mortified and amused as Stacie disappeared into the nearby bush. She and Jessica held tight to one another, giggling hysterically and jumping at shadows as they tried to make sure no one was coming.

"Oh god, guys! This is so gross! I am not the first one to do this!"

"Oh! Ew!"

"Oh shit!" Stacie yelped. "I almost fell over, oh ew-ew-ew-ew!"

"Do you have a quarter, Chloe?" Jessica asked, apparently done with the amusement of Stacie and her bush.

"That's so gross, Stacie!" Chloe groaned. She tried to feel for her pockets, only to realize her dress didn't have pockets. "Stace, you have a quarter?"

"Uh, a little busy here, Chlo!"

"I do, I do!" Jessica cried, digging in her purse as if she hadn't been the one to ask in the first place.

"God damn it!" The bush hiding Stacie cried. "Why is this so hard for girls? This is totally bullshit! Why can't we pee standing up?"

"Because that's messy!"

"They have that thing that girls can use," Jessica said, conversationally as she searched.

"What like a little dick?" Stacie asked.

"Yeah, or something, I don't know."

"This is such crap! Why is it that guys get to just pull it out and pee and we have to do this?" Stacie yelled, followed by another yip. "Guuuuuuys, I almost fell in it!"

"Oh ew!"

"I need a dick that I can screw on whenever I need it!"

"That's called a strap-on!" Jessica beamed and dropped a quarter into Chloe's hand.

"Oh my god, Jessica!" Chloe wailed, hugging her tightly.

"God DAMN IT!" Stacie yelled.

"What do I wish for?" Chloe asked, her teeth between her lip. In her state she had completely forgotten that it was Jessica who had asked for the quarter. As had Jessica.

"Wish we all had dicks! That way we all can pee!" Stacie grumbled, fighting her way out of the bushes.

Chloe snorted, tickled. "Okay! Okay, okay." She dropped the quarter into the machine and behind the creepy plaster man a light came on. "Do I just do it? So I just-"

"Put your hand here," Jessica instructed, pushing Chloe's hand against the brass plate.

"Okay!" Her bladder gave a fierce throb and she moaned a little. "Okay, okay, I wish we all had dicks for the night so we could go to the bathroom standing up!" Jessica and Stacie howled behind her, finding the whole thing hilarious. Chloe did too, laughing so hard she wasn't sure if she would be able to pull in a deep breath. Still, despite her laughter she couldn't help but to wonder, would Beca treat her different? She would. She was probably straight and that was probably the problem. What else could it be? If I had a dick, Chloe thought, then Beca would probably never leave before I woke up and would never be weird the next morning.

She gave a cry of pain as though the brass plate a sudden shock ripped through her palm, instantly deadening her fingers. "Ow!" She cried, looking to see if it had burned her.

"Your wish is granted." The creepy plaster man's head nodded and the ghostly voice issued from the machine.

All three froze, eyes wide and unsettled as they watched the light slowly go out. They were all silent, ghost pimples running up and down Chloe's arms as she stared.

Then Stacie inelegantly cupped herself. "Welp. That didn't work."

"Oh my god, Stacie!" she cried, the creepiness instantly forgotten.

"I guess if you two wanna pee we gotta find a bathroom."

"Damn." Jessica sighed.

"Come on you two," Stacie said, her smile much larger since her time in the bush and started to pull them back toward the light.

* * *

So...like I said, silly. Total and pure trash. But hopefully fun trash.

Check out AO3 for better formatting.

I'm going to TRY to get the next chapter out before the end of the weekend, but I make NO promises. The first person to insist I promised a chapter at a specific time or date has to share a bowl of Bumper's salty peas.


	2. Chapter 2

Waking up to a hangover was never particularly fun, being a senior this many times now _and_ the first one to be over the age of twenty-one meant that Chloe knew that for a fact. The number of times she had woken this way… well, it had been a lot. Still, as she groaned awake the next morning, she was sure that waking up from a night of cheap beer to a cheap beer hangover was the worst. This was why she didn't drink cheap beer. It was worse than Jungle Juice or Tequila or anything else she had felt. Her tongue was dry, yeasty and disgusting, her skin felt dirty from the fairground dust, her hair was tangled, her head was pounding, and she wanted a gallon of water. She felt like a piece of leather, dried out in the sun.  
"Oh god." She moaned into her pillow, wiping her long hair from her face and trying to moisten her dry lips with a parched tongue.  
Oh god, she felt horrible.  
Stacie and Jessica had taken the whole Chloe needs time without Beca thing and had created something amazing with it. The night before had been so much fun. Perhaps that hadn't been the best solve her anger, but it had been - her stomach rolled and she wondered for a moment if she would be sick. Had she _eaten_ anything the night before? Looking back through the beer haze she thought that maybe she remembered a few, ugh, a few deep-fried Oreos.  
Stacie! That had been Stacie's fault.  
She was never drinking again.  
When it calmed it sickly boiling, she settled back into the pillow, her face pressed into its soft side, breathing slowly through it. She could smell her breath and it was foul.  
Her stomach churned again.  
She was glad they had done it though, even if she felt horrible now. Stacie had gotten increasingly busy as school went on, her classes taking over everything except Bellas related events and Jessica, while adorable, had never been a hang out one on one type of friend. She needed to spend time with them again. Maybe she should get up and make them a thank you breakfast. The thought made her smile through her hangover. She didn't move though. She was comfortable. Cool. Comfortable. She thought that her dream had been a nice one too so instead she rolled over, reaching for her pillow. There was no reason for her to be awa-  
"Ahh!" She yipped, alarmed by the pain and quickly rolled back onto her back. "Ow!" She groaned, the pinch that made her lower stomach cramp and ache slowly fading. The pinch that felt – she didn't know – weird somehow.  
"What the fudge?" Chloe let out a laugh, realizing that while she thought she had been awake, she was clearly still asleep. She moaned and cuddled her pillow. Thank god, maybe her feeling so horrible was part of the dream, a consequence for the fun of the night before. She looked down her flat stomach and laughed again. Beginning just below her hips stood a… a something that was pushing the sheets and her shorts up into a tent; a tent just like she had seen a million times in the mornings with her ex-boyfriends.  
This was a weird dream.  
What was she supposed to do with it?  
Through a yawn she reached down and playfully booped the tent. It bounced and sprang lively back up.  
The wish! She remembered now, that's what this dream was about. One of the last things she solidly remembered from the night before had been that silly and completely creepy fortuneteller machine and the wish she had made for them.  
She sighed and stretched, her eyes dropping. "I wonder what Stacie is doing with hers." The thought of Stacie, phallus in hand, approaching a steady hook up and informing him that 'tonight things are gonna be a little different' made her giggle.  
Tickled and still chuckling she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and stood. This dream was weird, but it was great. She watched the tent in her comfy pajamas shorts bob as she walked across the room to her gym bag where a bottle of water waited. "Oh my god." She giggled, bucking her hips so it danced wildly. This weird dream apparition was, for whatever reason, standing up at full alert, pulling up one leg of her shorts. She was pretty sure if she was standing in front of her mirror she would see all the way to her hip.  
"Should have worn longer shorts," she mumbled a bit nonsensically to no one in particular.  
She shook her head, amused, drank down the bottle of water and shuffled back to the bed.  
The thing was a little inconvenient, sensitive in the state that it was and just so _there_. It took a second of fiddling, which sent pleasant little shocks into her lower belly before she found a way for it to lay against her so it didn't hurt when she flopped over onto her stomach.  
She was drifting away seconds after she found a comfortable spot.

* * *

Chloe felt better when she woke, almost normal in fact. Her mouth had a horrible taste to it and she needed a shower badly but her stomach wasn't pitching and her head only distantly hurt. She rolled over and stretched, enjoying the stretch and the giant yawn that followed. It was a beautiful morning if you could go off of the brilliant sun pouring into her window. Maybe she would spend the morning laying out and soaking in vitamins from the sun. There were only a few sunny days like this left before their very short autumn and then winter. Maybe she could get Beca to do something with her. Getting Beca out into the sun was a hard job, but if she planned the right thing then she thought they might have a nice day.  
She knew she had been mad at Beca the night before, she remembered that all too well. But… that had been the night before. The cure for her anger had worked perfectly, thanks to her friends.  
The thought of making up with Beca was cheering despite the last bits of her hangover and without much thought, she started to hum a little to herself. After a few notes the song changed into 'We Got the Beat', unconsciously harmonizing with someone who was singing in the kitchen downstairs.  
"Chlo?"  
"Oh." She hadn't realized it had been a knock that had woken her. She stretched again just because it felt good.  
"Chloe?" Beca asked in a soft voice, her knock tentative.  
"Hey, Becs."  
"Heeeeey," Beca said, though the door stayed closed. "Uh, are you coming down for breakfast? I mean, um, do you want some breakfast? I'm making some so I thought maybe you wanted some. So, breakfast? Do you want? Some?"  
Beca was rambling. It both warmed her heart and made her chuckle. Beca wanted to apologize, she knew that was what it was about. Every time Beca knew she had made a mistake it was like this. Her guilt was overwhelming, pushing Beca to tears herself because she had never wanted or meant to hurt Chloe. She was ashamed, that's why she hadn't come in. She was putting off the moment she had to look at her, just in case Chloe was still mad. Beca hated herself for this, Chloe knew that. And on this side of her anger it was easier for that fact to be enough to soften her.  
"Yeah, sure, Becs. Just give me a few minutes to shower and stuff."  
"Okay."  
Chloe could hear the hesitation in Beca's voice, knew she wanted to come in and sit on the edge of her bed and talk to her, but Chloe felt gross.  
"Errr cool. Okay."  
She could hear Beca hovering, unmoving outside of the door and could almost see in her mind's eye how Beca would look. Her face would be pinched and worried, rolling her eyes at herself as she debated asking for the thing she wanted. She would even bet that Beca was turning away from the door, only to turn back, and then turning again as she decided to wait, over and over again. Chloe waited to see which it would be, if she would ask or if she would wait. After another second or two she heard Beca move away from the door, sighing deeply. Her chagrinned Beca-ness must have won this round.  
Chloe rolled her eyes to herself but it wasn't a frustrated roll as much as an amused affectionate roll. Beca was so funny sometimes, so… _Beca_. She had such a hard time getting out of her own way.  
Chloe felt a small flash of guilt over her amusement. She should have invited her in. She knew what Beca had wanted but sometimes she just wanted Beca to _ask_ for the thing she wanted, not hem and haw and make her point without ever actually saying it.  
That was usually how Chloe knew that Beca wanted to be more than friends that night. Beca would appear in her doorway with, seemingly, nothing to say and would twist her shirt and look at everything except Chloe until Chloe pulled her into the room or simply took her own shirt off.  
That was how they had gotten to…  
A flash of a thought crossed her mind: Beca poised over her the night before last, her face flushed, her eyes dilated and wide, her breathing fast.  
And then her empty bed the next morning.  
She didn't want to think about that right now. The morning was so beautiful and she didn't want a gray cloud hanging over her today, not after being upset yesterday. That was too much unhappy. She wasn't good at being unhappy for too long.  
Throwing off the sheet she went to stand and instead yelped, her hand immediately going to her crotch to stop the pain.  
"What the fudge?"  
Chloe knew what to expect when she cupped herself, anticipated the smooth and gentle curves of her own body and this. She stood frozen, feeling something _very_ different in her hand. "What the _fudge_?" She whispered, confused.  
The dream – the dream from that morning. It suddenly came back to her with screaming clarity.  
That wasn't _possible_.  
Terrified, she looked down her flat stomach and to what her hand was cupping. Sticking out of the top of her waistband, poking its head out like a turtle fresh from her shell, she saw something that wasn't possible. That wasn't – that wasn't possible!  
Frantically she ripped off her shorts. She's not asleep anymore, she's sure of that and yet still, dangling softly between her legs was a phallus. It wasn't hard, not like it had been in her dream and yet it was there.  
Panicked, she penguin walked over to her mirror, her whole body stiff and yes, it was there too! How could it be there in the mirror _and_ on her body? It couldn't be both, this had to be in her head! This didn't make any sense! She was Chloe and Chloe was a girl, she didn't have a penis!  
She couldn't stop staring. Where her lower stomach had once been a smooth the soft patch of strawberry blonde curls of her mons pubis now was interrupted by a short, thick... _penis!_  
She snatched it, unsure if she was going to try to pull it off or simply feel it to be sure it was real. Her hand grabbed hard and she buckled in half, moaning. She had grabbed it – hard and pain had immediately shot through her stomach, branching out up through it and throbbing in these things she should not – _did not_ have! Only, it hurt like she did.  
"Oh shit!" She looked up at the mirror, back down, at the mirror, back down. The image wasn't changing. "Shit!"  
None too gently she pinched her arm.  
Ow!  
That had hurt.  
It wasn't a dream, because that had hurt.  
Her hand clutched again, panicked.  
 _Ow!_  
That had hurt too!  
"Oh my god!" She shrieked. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! This is – this is- the worst thing ever! This is - " staring at this thing in her hand she couldn't think of a better word. Was this real? You couldn't feel pain in a dream, right? That was something she had learned in one of her many psychology courses. You couldn't. But this thing was here! She yanked it, hoping beyond hope that it would come off or disappear into smoke or, she had no idea, and instead crumped to her knees.  
Okay, no more of that.  
Nicer. She had to be nicer to it.  
Okay.  
Okay, okay.  
Chloe glanced frantically around the room looking for some kind of an answer.  
She had woken up with a penis.  
 _She had woken up with a penis!_  
She had woken u – she gasped. That creepy machine had given her a penis! It had – how dare it! She growled. Yes, she had made that wish but it had been silly! She hadn't meant it. Of course she hadn't meant it! She was drunk. She had been drunk and she had needed to pee. And now she had a penis. She had woken up with a penis and – oh my god!  
She stared at it, dumbfounded and trying to make her mind adjust to the sight.  
She was Chloe. She was Chloe. She had breasts, which she had always been fond of, and yes they were still there but her clitoris wasn't. _Where_ had her lovely little clitoris gone? She had liked it. They were friends! She knew exactly how to touch it to get the response she wanted. They had grown up together.  
And now this.  
She studied it long and hard, taking it in. It looked like it belonged on her body. The skin tone matched hers, it fit well in her hand and yet...  
So, her wish had worked.  
Her mind finally settled on that idea. Her wish had been granted.  
All right.  
And now she had this.  
It was kind of small, she noted with disappointment. If you were going to be granted with a penis then you think it would be a little more impressive.  
What was she thinking?  
She lunged for her phone, her hand glued there like it would fall off if she let it go.  
That thought registered and immediately she let go as if it had burned her, but no luck. Disappointed, she tapped Stacie's number, her fingers shaking a bit as she did it.  
"Hey, Chlo," Stacie answered on the second ring.  
"Stace! Stace! Uh..." She froze. She had absolutely and totally _no_ idea what to say. Was there a good way of saying 'did you wake up with a penis this morning?' She didn't think there was so in her usual habit of just saying things she opened her mouth to do exactly that and just ask. Only, something at the last moment stopped her. "Oh my god," she tittered. "This is crazy.  
She had said it more to herself than to Stacie, but it was enough to make Stacie sound concerned.  
"You okay, Chlo?"  
"Um." Her lips pressed together, looking into the mirror yet again. She couldn't rectify what she was seeing with her own image. Maybe she was losing her mind. "Are _you_ okay?" She asked instead.  
Stacie gave a snort. "A little hungover. God, I was dirty this morning. I woke up with dirt in places I had never had it before. At least, not without willingly allowing it to be there."  
Chloe laughed. It was forced but she thought it mostly sounded natural enough. "You do like your outdoor sex."  
Stacie hummed with happiness. "You gotta try it one day."  
"So, you're not, I don't know," she chewed on her lip for a moment, " _different_ at all this morning, are you?"  
"No, why?" Stacie said slowly and Chloe could tell she had finally triggered that side of Stacie that always seemed to be aware of what was happening with the others in the group. "You okay, Chloe?" She asked again.  
"Yeah, of course I am! I'm just... it's silly! Just, um, where are you?"  
"About to meet up with Scott, why? You need something? Did I forget a rehearsal?"  
For a moment she debated calling Jessica instead. She might be nearby and she had been there after all. Jessica's sweet face and hug might be exactly what she needed. She _needed_ a hug. At the same time, the thought of showing this… _thing_ to Jessica made her cringe. No. Stacie was the one. She needed Stacie.  
"No, no, but do you think you could come back soon? I need to talk to you and," she gave a high laugh that sounded as unnerved as she felt, "it's no big deal or anything."  
"Sure, Chloe," Stacie said, not fooled by Chloe trying to brush it off. "I'll head back now."  
She debated telling her to take her time, to wait until after class or Scott or whatever her plans had been. She just couldn't seem to make herself say the words because she _kept_ looking into the mirror and every time it _kept_ showing her a penis – a penis that was not hers and yet was somehow on her boy. "Great! You're the best!" She hung up before she could make herself sound any stranger.  
Yup. She groaned as she looked down again. It was still there.  
Okay. Okay. Her hands went out in their authoritative Bellas co-captain pose, the one she used when the Bellas were running amok. It was a pose that couldn't be ignored, even by herself. What should she do now? What would she do if this were Beca and she had come to her? The thought made her chuckle. What would she tell her to do? She would tell her to go about her normal routine until Stacie got there. So, okay. She nodded to no one. She would get up and go about her normal routine.  
Because what else could she possibly do?  
Shower now, freak out later. She could do that, totes.  
Walking felt strange, she realized as she grabbed her shorts and started to her en-suite. She could feel this thing just hanging there, swaying as she moved. How did men move in anything above a crawl with something like this? She was afraid that it was going to… she didn't know, bounce into something. Which was silly, she knew it wouldn't. Still, she couldn't make herself move quickly.  
She turned on the shower and realized that though the plan had been to shower now and freak out later, she was completely and one hundred percent freaked out.  
"Okay, Chloe, you can do this." Her words bounced back at her through the bathroom's echo and she nodded as if it was the advice given to her by a trusted friend.  
She could do this.  
She got into the shower and it was nice. The warm water calmed some of the panic inside of her and after a few minutes she was even humming again. The scent of her shampoo made her feel more like herself again.  
She washed her hair, her arms, her torso and then paused.  
How did she wash ... that?  
She had never washed one with the intent of making it clean before. As a matter of fact, she had only soaped up in the shower _to_ get it nice and hard when she had been with Tom or Nate or Daniel. She didn't want that right now, as fascinated as she was to see it happen. She had things to do. How did the men do it? Was there some special magic trick? Wash it while thinking about a homework assignment, or maybe what she would make for dinner that night? Was it really dirty anyway? After all, it had only appeared at some point since she had gone to sleep so…  
But she had to clean it because she couldn't get out of the shower without cleaning herself, that was just nonsense.  
Okay, just do it, she told herself and quickly began to wash.  
She was quick and efficient, but she had no luck at that moment. As quickly as she did it, she could feel the blood moving and her ... her ... penis ... was semi-hard.  
She frowned down at it. "There's no reason for you to be here!" She cried down at the uninvited guest in her shower.  
"Uh, Chlo?" There was a soft knock on the door. "Were you talking to me? How did you even know I was walking up?" Beca's voice sounded a little hurt through the bathroom door.  
"Oh my god!" Chloe squeaked, her heart leaping into her throat. Beca was right outside. Her hands immediately clamped over this new addition to hide it. "Beca!" She tried to crouch and instead slipped, clattering to the floor of the tub, her hands firmly hiding herself as though Beca would be able to see it through the closed door. "No! No, Becs I was talking to myself!" Her heart was beating a hundred miles an hour and despite the fact that water was pouring over her legs and torso, she would feel her forehead and underarms break out in a sweat.  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah! Of course!" She tried to laugh but it sounded strained and awkward and so she cut it off quickly. "I'm okay! Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you or anything." Again her laugh didn't sound right through her absolute panic. Beca couldn't see her like this.  
"Um, Chlo. You sound weird."  
"No, no, I'm good. What's cookin', good lookin'?" She grimaced. She said things like that all of the time and yet suddenly it sounded weird, forced.  
"Uh okay. Nothing, just... you know."  
Beca could get a little clingy when she was upset. And if she were being honest with herself most of the time she woke up to Beca treating her room as if it were her own. Chloe would get into the shower in the morning, on the weekends anyway, and come out to find Beca on her bed, reading a magazine or fiddling with the set list on her computer. That was normal – assuming there had been no kissing the night before. Chloe rarely even thought about it past the little squeeze of happiness it gave her. Often since they had begun their friends without full benefits thing, she would walk out of the shower partially naked. Beca would then make some joke, blush and pretend she wasn't looking while Chloe would tease her about her blush and yet take her time getting dressed, wondering if that was the day that their make-out sessions would finally become something more. The mental images that played through her mind in that moment always made her toes tingle and her mouth water. But Beca, despite her shade of red, always stayed seated.  
She _couldn't_ let that happen today. She couldn't walk out of the bathroom and chance Beca seeing this thing. Beca had to go downstairs! She had to talk to Stacie, she had to figure out what was happening to her. She couldn't let Beca see her naked today. She would just have to miss that blush, which happened to be her favorite of all Beca blushes.  
"Well, I'm okay. I'll meet you downstairs in a few, Bec, okay?" She cringed, knowing that didn't sound at all normal.  
"Oh, uh ..."  
She could hear the surprise in Beca's voice.  
"Chloe, you really sound weird. What's wrong?"  
"Nothing!"  
There was a pause of silence and then, " _Oh!_ Did I catch you ..." Beca let her words trail off, her point clear.  
"No!" Chloe laughed a little. "Not this time anyway." There had been that one time. Chloe hadn't known that Beca had come into her room, hadn't known that Beca was just outside the door when she let a few moans slip out. She had walked out of her bathroom and had frozen in shock. Beca had seemed so embarrassed and cute and – _oh no_. Thinking about Beca that day when she had caught Chloe touching herself was a little too pleasurable. Despite the fact that her hands were still pressing down, hiding this new thing, she could feel a stirring low in her belly. The hardness had thankfully gone down the moment she had been surprised by Beca's knock but now, she moved her hands and watched with horror and fascination as it began to rise.  
Oh shit! She looked wildly around for something to make it stop but what that would have been she didn't know in her rational mind.  
Had she thought it was small before? It sure _wasn't_ small now as it grew to full size, standing proudly from between her hips. This wasn't like the semi stiffness she had felt earlier, not at all. This time it was hard and full and long and pointing directly up at her face.  
What the hell? She glared at it. She wasn't even turned on right now! Not - not really!  
She thought of the guilty look on Beca's face that day, and of the fact that Beca hadn't run before Chloe got out of the shower, almost like she had wanted Chloe to know she had been there.  
Shit.  
Damn it! Why was it here? She normally enjoyed it when the penises in her life got this kind of hard. 'Man of Steel hard' Tom used to call it, his grin all boyish and proud. She wasn't quite as grateful right now as she had been then.  
Grower, not a shower, Tom had also said.  
She gave it a bop and had to stifle a giggle in her hand as it bounced like a bobblehead.  
"Chloe!"  
"Yeah!" Chloe cried, her hands going to cover it again and entirely unable to do the job.  
"Chlo, I'm coming in. You're worrying me."  
"What? No! Beca! I'm fine! Don't come in here!"  
"Dude, what the hell is wrong?"  
"Nothing!"  
"Chlo, come on. I can help."  
Chloe looked down at it pointing it out of her lap and swallowed down the hysterical and perhaps a little crazy laugh. "No, you really can't, Bec."  
"You remember when you cut yourself trimming your, um, you know? Nothing can be weirder than me helping you with that."  
"THIS ISN'T LIKE THAT!" She cried, hearing the doorknob rattle. "I'M FINE!" What would she do if Beca walked in at that moment? "Beca! Seriously! I'm okay!" Her hands went up to hold the shower curtain closed, releasing hew new appendage so it could spring up, accusing her of being a liar. God, what the hell? She studied it, baffled. "Go away," she hissed at it in a whisper.  
"Chlo, you sure?"  
"Yeah, totally, Becs. Just gimmie a minute and I'll be downstairs." She tried a fake laugh and this time it sounded a little more normal.  
Beca sighed loudly enough that Chloe heard it through the door and over the water of her shower. "Okay. If you say so. Uh, Stacie's here."  
"She is?" Relief washed through her. She didn't know why but she was sure Stacie would have an answer. Stacie somehow often had the answers. And this... somehow she had a feeling Stacie would know just what to say about this.  
"I'll meet you downstairs, I guess." Beca's voice sounded so sad. Chloe frowned, wanting to reach out and make it better. Instead, she cleared her throat and called as cheerfully as possible, "Thanks, Bec!"  
"Chloe, what's up?" Stacie called through the door.  
"Just a sec! Let me rinse my hair."  
She finished her shower quickly, worriedly waiting for the rigid exclamation mark that was this new-found addition to her body to do down.  
It didn't.  
It didn't even a little bit and by the time she was done showering and dry she was a little panicked again. How did she get rid of it? It was still just as big, just as hard, just as... penis like.  
Experimentally she pulled it back to her stomach, impressed when the tip touched her belly button. It kind of put tom to shame. Actually, it _totes_ put Tom to shame. "Okay now, go down!" she whispered at it. "Go down! Go down!" It was being unreasonable. "Pleeease, go down!" It didn't and she could feel Stacie waiting for her on the other side of the door. She didn't have a choice. "Um, Stace, I have a problem."  
"What's wrong?"  
"I can't come out."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I have a problem and it..." She shook her head, "I just can't come out."  
"Do you want me to come in?"  
"No!"  
"What's wrong? You cut yourself shaving again?"  
"No… um, do you remember last night?"  
"Yeah."  
"Good." She sighed, resting her forehead against the cool wooden door. "Do you remember that creepy fortuneteller thing?"  
"Oh yeah. I'm glad I missed it. I mean, the bush wasn't better but I didn't like that things eyes."  
"Right well. Do you remember the wish?"  
"God, we were drunk idiots. That was fun. Yeah, I remember but I didn't want up with a dick so I guess the machine didn't work."  
Chloe opened her mouth but the words wouldn't come out. They were stuck somewhere in her throat. She shifted and winched as the head of this new thing bumped into the door.  
Silence came from the other side for a heartbeat and then, "Oh my _god_ , you didn't!"  
"Stacie, you can't tell anyone! Oh my god, I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!" She cried, the panic, never too far away to begin with, suddenly back in full force. "You don't have one?"  
"No! What the hell? I got gypped. We need to go back and ask for money! You have one? Really? You have to let me see!"  
To Chloe's horror the door handle turned and Stacie started to push the door open whether Chloe was ready or not.  
"Stace!" She cried, pushing her full weight against it. "I'm naked!" She wasn't exactly prudish about her naked body – at all in fact, but this was a little different.  
It was a close battle, Stacie was surprisingly strong but eventually Chloe got the door closed again and locked.  
"I'm so not leaving until you come out, so you might as well come out, Chlo! Come on, let me see!"  
Her heartbeat hadn't calmed even a little bit, nor had the lively thing between her legs and it was starting to get embarrassing.  
"I know, but give me a minute." She wanted to come out. She had to come out because she had to show someone but she wanted to do it on her own time. Oh god, she couldn't believe this was happening.  
Slowly she pulled on her bra and her tank she slept in.  
"Stacie, will you go to my third drawer and hand me the pajama pants with the stars on them?"  
She heard some rustling, Stacie mutter "cute" to something she came across and then she was back at the door.  
"You're going to have to open this if you want me to hand it to you."  
"I know, I know, just let me put them on, okay? Don't push. Then I'll come out."  
"Okay!" She could hear Stacie's grin.  
The pants, while doing nothing to hide the bulge, at least went down long enough that she wasn't showing any part of herself before she was ready to.  
Once they were on she had nothing else she could do but open the door and walk out, her towel bunched over her bulge to hide it.  
Stacie was sitting on her bed, one leg thrown carelessly over the other as she waited.  
Finally after a moment of silence Stacie's eyebrows rose and so Chloe, blushing, dropped the towel. The pushed down bulge sprang back up as if it wanted to say hello face to face.  
"Oh my god! Chloe!"  
"I know! I can't believe it!"  
"That's... that's really there!"  
"I know! I can't believe it! Is this real?"  
"Sure looks real to me."  
"It won't go down!"  
"Yeah, I can see that."  
Stacie leaned over and before Chloe could stop her, gave the shaft a swift, hard flick.  
Chloe let out a high yelp and stumbled away. "Ow! Stacie! It's sensitive!"  
Stacie just shrugged. "Sorry, sorry, wanted to make sure it was real and not silicone."  
"It's real! I promise!"  
"Can I see it?"  
"You want to see it?" She said it in a flat voice, not because it was weird since she was pretty sure if the roles were reversed _she_ would want to see it, but because she somehow hadn't thought to expect the question.  
"Of course I want to see it! ... What? That's not weird! Come on!"  
"Stacie!"  
"Come on, I bet you'd have a pretty dick."  
That made Chloe smile a little, flattered.  
"Come on! Please! It's not every day this happens!"  
It took some convincing but finally, awkwardly Chloe fumbled with her pants, pulling it down enough to expose it. She wasn't usually this shy, but she also didn't usually have a penis.  
Stacie gave a whistle. "Holy shit, so you happy to see me, Chlo, or what?" Stacie said with a wink.  
Chloe just whined.  
"It is pretty though, Chlo."  
"Awe, thanks Stace," she cooed, happy. If she was going to have a penis, she was glad that it was at least pretty.  
"So what got it – you - all..." she waved her fingers around, indicating its current happy state.  
"I don't know! Beca was here and-"  
"Niiiice." Stacie clicked her tongue, her eyebrows waggling. "Got wood for Becs, huh?"  
"No! I mean, I don't know!" Her hands clenched by her side in fists. "It won't go down, Stacie!"  
Stacie shrugged, apparently not at all worried by that. "One of my ex's had really long erections. I would blow him and blow him and it would still be forever before it went down. And sometimes he would get panic erections. I bet that's what this is. You just gotta calm down."  
"Right." She took a deep breath. "Calm down." She supposed it did make sense. It usually took her a long time to cool down when she was turned on normally, however normally there wasn't such an open and obvious sign of that fact.  
"So you think it was that machine?"  
Chloe almost chuckled. "I don't know. I think so."  
"Why didn't I get one then?"  
Chloe opened her mouth and then paused before words could come. At first she was going to insist that she didn't know, that it wasn't fair. Before she could, the memory of that last thought before that zap came floating back. She remembered wondering if Beca would like her more if she had a dick. Still, that thought, that small wondering had set her apart from Stacie and Jessica who had just needed a bathroom. Instantly she was furious with the meddling machine. She had meant _if she were a man!_ The machine had taken that too literally. She had been drunk! What was it thinking? At last when she had the proper anatomy she was getting to second base with Beca. Now...  
"I don't know. Maybe because I was the one to make the wish?"  
"Well, at least you know for a fact that it's temporary. That's nice, right?"  
Chloe looked up, her stomach doing hopeful summersaults. "What do you mean?"  
"Well," Stacie paused, her head tilted a little as she thought, eyes going from Chloe's face to the thing pointing at her. "Can you put it back in your pants? It's staring at me."  
"Oh, sorry." Her lips twisted in apology.  
"So yeah. The wish was for the night, remember? It will probably be gone tomorrow."  
"You think so?"  
"Yeah, dude. If not then just go back to the machine and unwish it. Works every time in movies."  
That did make sense. Her frown as deep as she thought it over.  
"You're living the dream!" Stacie laughed, getting up and teasingly shaking her by the shoulders. "Damn I wish it had worked on me too! I would be having so much fun! Every girl wants a day like this."  
"That's what I was thinking earlier before I got upset." And it was true. Before this had happened she had an if-I-had-a-penis bucket list. It was nothing serious, just things like peeing standing up, masturbating, and so on. She could actually do those things now!  
"This is a chance of a lifetime! Go pee on a bush! Go jerk off! Go get Be – I mean a girl and see what happens."  
Chloe laughed, somehow feeling better thanks to Stacie's casual attitude. This thing just popped up. The wish had been for a day. And if not she just had to wish it back. Stacie was right. This wasn't something to worry about. Magical weird things like this must happen in the world all of the time. You always saw reports about it and while she had usually assumed they weren't real, suddenly she thought some might have been telling the truth.  
"Seriously," Stacie said, standing up from the bed. "Have some fun, girl."  
Chloe smiled a little. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

* * *

Stacie left a few minutes later, leaving Chloe to wonder what to do now.  
She spent a moment poking it and watching it bounce, then another few moments swinging her hips and watching it dance.  
It really was kind of funny.  
She laughed, making it bounce up and down, and then when that wasn't enough she began to do jumping jacks.  
She could only imagine what she looked like.  
The thought cracked her up, and laughing she went to go do the first thing on the list: peeing standing up.  
Could she do that when it was like this?  
She had seen Tom do it, she realized so it must be possible.  
She let herself into the bathroom, surprised as to how good she felt and sat on the toilet.  
The penis... her penis ... just stared back at her, pointing up toward her face again. "Oh god!" Her hands clamped over it, covering it from sight. That had nearly been horrible and messy. Sitting was such a habit.  
She shook her head a little at herself. Standing had been the _whole_ point.  
She stood and, as she had seen Tom do, pushed it down, pulling it gently into position.  
It wasn't easy and it took a while to work, but once she got it working, it _was_ fun. She had never realized then men basically got a fun little game whenever they had to go to the bathroom.  
She giggled as she finished and grabbed a bit of toilet paper as usual.  
Wait, she realized. What was that for?  
She debated and then, deciding, she dabbed the tip. There was no reason to suddenly be messy just because of this. Satisfied, she flushed.  
Finally, as she left the bathroom, she felt the erection start to wane.  
"Oh thank god!"  
Whether from her easing panic or her now empty bladder, she didn't know but she was grateful.  
She was humming as she dressed, pulling on a bra, a shirt, and then her underwear. Looking in the mirror she wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or be upset. Her cute pink cotton panties didn't look quite as cute now. Going to her drawer, she pulled out her tightest jeans. The ones that showed off her butt and that she had caught Beca checking her out in more than once. They were so tight that there was no way anything would show through and, sure enough, to her satisfaction that was true. She felt a little squished but she was okay.  
"Alright. Let's do this!"

* * *

"Hey, Becs." Chloe smiled, as she entered the kitchen to find Beca, as usual, ignoring the table and standing by the counter with her cereal.  
"Um, hey." For a moment Beca looked like a deer in the headlights, her eyes going to big. "I uh - herk!"  
Chloe pretended not to notice Beca choking on the mouthful and when she finally did turn back to her she also pretended, for Beca's sake, not to notice that her eyes were streaming.  
"How are you?"  
"I'm good." Beca rasped. "How are you?"  
Chloe thought for a moment before she gave a little nod. "I'm good." Assuming this thing did go away when it was supposed to then yeah, she was good. She felt like she had a walking target on her hips, a big sign that pointed to the tiniest of bulges there – that maybe only existed in her mind – and read 'notice anything different here'? It was scary. But it was also, in a strange way, a little fun. A sexy-ish little secret that only she knew. Well, she and Stacie. And maybe Jessica. She needed to make sure that Jessica wasn't any different today than she had been yesterday.  
"What's your day like today?"  
"Oh, I dunno," Beca said, her eyes overly large, her voice overly innocent. "I was thinking, you know, it's nice out. Maybe doing something."  
"Oh yeah?" Chloe chewed the inside of her lip to keep back her laughter. Beca must really feel bad about the day before. How was she so cute? She waited, knowing Beca needed to work up to her awkward invitation.  
"Yeah, you know, just maybe something... on campus... today... with someone?"  
She decided to put her best friend out of her misery. Swinging around she flashed a large grin. "Why Beca Mitchell, are you asking me to go get coffee with you?"  
Beca's huge eyes fluttered. Somehow she looked more panicked than before. "Uh sure. If that's what you want to do."  
"Well, all you had to do was ask!" She teasingly cooed, fluttering her eyelashes.  
"Uh well." Beca put the bowl in the sink, some of the awkwardness thawing. "This is that. Me asking."  
"Sure, Bec."  
"Okay good."  
"You done sweating in your boots over there?"  
That broke the last of the strange formality and like a hand in a glove, they slipped back into their natural rhythm.  
"Oh my god, you freak, I was just asking. You know what I meant!" Beca groaned with a very Beca-like eye roll.  
Chloe, in turn, threw her arms around Beca and gave her cheek a quick kiss. "I'd love to go for coffee."  
"Well, I don't know if I _want_ to take you now."  
"Of course you do!" She grinned and Beca, despite her obvious best effort grinned back.  
"Fine. But only because... you're cute."  
As it always did Chloe felt a warm and happy flash of heat through her as she beamed.  
It was normal and that felt nice.  
Chloe took a seat at the table, her toast and juice placed before her and as she always did Beca settled in beside her.  
"So um, yesterday."  
"Um-hmm." Chloe nodded around a gulp of juice.  
There was a lot of fumbling and rambling but finally Beca got out, "I don't mean to be such a dick."  
"I know that, Beca."  
"I'm sorry."  
"I know that too." She reached over and squeezed her friend's hand and then, just because she liked Beca's response when she did it, she leaned over and gave her a brief peck to the lips.  
Sure enough, Beca began to sputter and cough as though they hadn't kissed plenty of times now, and not little pecks like that but real kisses.  
"I think you do that just because it makes me even awkwarder." She grumbled.  
"I do."  
"Ugh. Okay. Whatever, weirdo. You wanna go?"

The morning was indeed a beautiful one. Chloe always liked campus during the summer semesters the best. There were fewer people, for sure, and those who were there were either happily studying out in the sunlight or were enjoying their time off. There were drink stands and often ice cream stands, and it was almost a guarantee that the frat guys of the campus had given up hunting for women thanks to the heat, making it a much more serene place to be. The offseason teams who were still on campus were constantly training, each jogging in little to nothing, which was very pleasing to the eye.  
They slowly made their way across the campus, Chloe's arm tossed around Beca's shoulders as always as they joked and teased. Now that Beca had apologized, things felt right again. Chloe was able to tease her and Beca, as usual, rolled her eyes and pretended not to love it.

"So, you going to the Harmonics party tonight?" Beca asked as they took their drinks from the coffee cart in the student union.  
Chloe considered. "Are you?"  
"I think so. They usually throw a good party."  
Chloe nodded. Usually she loved a Harmonics party. She loved the boys dancing with boys and the girls dancing with girls. It was a nice break from the Treble's parties or other Greek parties that were every frat party scene in a movie ever. Their heteronormativity was sometimes fun, when she was in the mood, but the more she secretly kissed Beca the more she gravitated toward the Harmonics way of thinking. She shook her head anyway. "No, I think my hangover this morning was enough for the week." The hangover was distant now, but she could still feel it in the back of her mind with little effort.  
"Cool."' Beca grinned up at her, one eye winking against the sun and Chloe found it adorable. "So you wanna watch something then later? You know, after?"  
Chloe glanced at Beca, who was pointedly looking down at her shoes. Chloe's stomach and heart had a sudden case of butterflies, only these weren't the ones she got when she was nervous or upset. These were happy little butterflies that filled her with an exciting kind of nerves and anticipation of the one on one time.  
"If you're not passed out somewhere." Chloe gave her a coy smile.  
"Okay, that only happened once!" Beca cried, her hands out as if she just needed to make this clear to all of the many no one's that were listening.  
"I think it only needs to happen once in order for me to make fun of you for it."  
"Pssh, whatever."  
They started down the walk away, not really going anywhere specific but just walking.  
They watched a few people parked outside of the science building's entrance, a few crates set up and holding a few puppies for adoption.  
They paused to scratch the ears of a few and then moved on, watching the flag football game on the other side.  
Chloe hadn't realized that they had fallen silent at some point until Beca spoke.  
"I really am, you know."  
"What?" she glanced over, pulled out of her vague thoughts about nothing.  
"Sorry. I am. Sorry."  
"I know."  
And then Beca ruined their good time with her utterly adorable cuteness. At that, Beca's eyes kind of rolled and as she did it, she ran a hand through her hair, tossing it back in that way that Chloe always loved. Before that cuteness overload had mellowed, Beca was moving in close, pulling her in and Chloe, just before her face buried in Beca's neck, caught a glimpse of a tiny little mouth shaped bruise way back on her neck that Chloe _knew_ she created. Then her face dips and buried in her skin - and she smelled like Beca - and she's _so close_ and Beca was hugging her so tightly, but it's not often she initiates and Chloe was biting her lip because – oh god.  
The one other time she can remember this happening she had been alone in the shower and there had been a stirring. This time there was no stirring. This time she felt like one of those balloons clowns use to create balloon animals. One moment it was small and limp in the clown's hand and then suddenly, with a little air pressure, it stretched and grew to new proportions. She felt herself stiffening, rising, going from stiff to _hard_ in a matter of moments.  
Before she had a chance to worry that Beca would feel it through her jeans, before she had a chance to worry that it would suddenly be visible her knees were buckling.  
She felt like her shoes had suddenly grown to be three sizes too small or she had spent an entire evening in brand new stilettos and her feet were killing her. Only, it wasn't her feet that were the problem. On reflex her hand went to her crotch, moaning as she touched it and added pressure.  
She hadn't known it could hurt like this. She could feel herself throbbing from the little hickey and the closeness of Beca and on top of that it felt like the inside of her jeans had just turned to sandpaper, rubbing against the most sensitive part of her, while the sandpaper constricted, leaving her no room to move to grow.  
She groaned again, tears coming to her eyes.  
"Chlo? Chloe?"  
She tried to remain standing but she couldn't. She teetered, her hand feather light on her hidden addition, and fell back onto the bench with a dry sob.  
It was a battle of wills, this new appendage and the rock hard fabric of her far too tight jeans.  
There was no give in these jeans at all, no room for it to go down her leg, no room for it even to push out. As a matter of fact, through her bleary eyes she could see that the jeans were so tight that though she had never had an erection like this, there was still little to no bump.  
"Chlo! What's wrong?" Beca was hovering, her face terrified. Chloe reached for her, hoping to anchor herself in the pain and that seemed to only panic Beca more. She took Chloe's hand, letting her squeeze and in her worry squeezing back.  
"I'm okay," she panted.  
"No, you're not!" For once all sarcasm seemed to have left Beca.  
"I am, I just-" she turned her eyes on Beca and moaned out a whine. Beca was very close, hovering on her knees beside the bench. Her face was etched in worry, her hand on Chloe's thigh and with Beca bent slightly over like she was Chloe had a perfect view down her spaghetti strap that always seemed to show more cleavage than Beca realized. Chloe's eyes snapped closed, feeling the pain increase. _How_ could it keep growing if there was nowhere for it to go? She couldn't get her mind to clear, could stop thinking about how burying her face in the top of that cleavage was her favorite thing to do when their make-out sessions got intense enough.  
God damn it, she knew she liked Beca, of course she did. She even knew she wanted her but the feeling being created in her body at that moment, this would-be visible sign... she wasn't sure she had known she liked Beca, or wanted her, that much.  
She had to get out of there. She had to leave.  
"Bec, I'm sorry." She croaked, pulling herself to her feet. Standing hurt. It hurt so much worse but she had to get out of there, had to get Beca to stop holding her in that way. "I'm sorry Bec, I gotta go. I'll meet you at home." And she took off as fast as her rock hard penis and super tight jeans would let her.  
She didn't pause once she hit the Bellas door, but instead flew through it and up the first flight of stairs, working the button of her jeans before she had made it to her room. The second the door closed she ripped the pants down to her knees and signed. There was residual pain, an ache in every inch but the moment it could spring free the pain dulled.  
She looked down at it, in shock and impressed by it, by how sharply it stood out.  
Because of Beca.  
Oh god, because of Beca.  
Both times she had gotten hard that day was because of her best friend.  
She sighed, her head falling back against her door.  
She was in trouble.

* * *

New chapter when I can!


	3. Chapter 3

Okay forewarning here. I pretty much never do this but this chapter is COMPLETELY unedited. I didn't even read through it a second time. I hate that because I try to make sure stuff generally looks good, but it looks like there is no way I can do it tonight and I promised my tumblr people that I would put it up tonight. So I'm sorry if it ruins the experience. Try to be kind about any dropped or misspelled words... or anything else that is wrong here!

As always, head over to AO3 for slightly better formatting.

Thanks!

* * *

The moment the residual pain dulled from her newly transformed panty area Chloe felt _horrible_ for running away from Beca like that. She had heard the downstairs door open and close softly a minute after she had arrived home but so far Beca hadn't come up or made any attempt at letting Chloe know she was there. Chloe supposed that made sense. She had probably scared the crap out of her.

Pants still around her knees and newly acquired penis still throbbing needfully, she fished her phone out of her pocket and sent a quick text.

"I'm super sorry! I was really not feeling well but I'm okay now."

Beca's response came manically fast. "Are you sure? You looked like you were really in pain."

Chloe bit her lip through a frown. "Of course. I think the coffee didn't sit well." She neglected to admit that she hadn't had any of the coffee yet and had left it, she thought, on the bench where she had fallen. That wasn't important, of course. What was important was making sure Beca didn't think she had run from her for, she didn't know, some terrible reason.

"What's going on, Chloe. You're being weird today. Is this about yesterday?"

"No, I'm totally fine." She had to tell Beca. She had to. But how did you say that? Hey bestie and girl with great lips, I have a funny story to tell you.

Chloe shook her head a little, frowning harder.

She sighed. Beca _did_ have great lips. That thought made her smile – which only lasted a minute before she gasped.

"No, no, no!" She hissed at it, feeling the blood rush back in, making this new unruly thing stiffen fully again. She focused hard and thought about the worst thing she could. Bumper. She remembered the time that Bumper had gotten drunk at a summer themed party and had hit on her. He had been wearing a Speedo and she had been able to see little black hairs poking out of the top of the suit.

"Geeeh." She grimaced, pleased that it was working.

Her phone went off again. "Come on, you didn't let me come in the morning, which, okay so you wanted your privacy but you've literally never wanted that before. You just ran from the quad in tears. What aren't you telling me?"

She chewed her lip, thankful to feel some of the blood still retreating from her groin. She didn't know how to lie to Beca. "Look, there is something but it's not about you, I promise and you just have to give me time, okay?"

Beca's response took a while to come but finally, she gave an unhappy, "okay."

Chloe skipped Bellas rehearsal that day, something she had never done before in her _life_ instead stayed on her bed in her loose pajama pants looking things up online.

She honestly wasn't sure where to start and so, she got comfy on her bed with her legs crossed under her.

She did a few searches but of course there was nothing about magic machines giving women penises. She hadn't thought there would be, but she was still a little disappointed.

Next, she typed in 'tips for living life with a penis.' She thought maybe tips for a _girl_ with a penis would probably be more accurate but she thought that might not bring up the kind of things she wanted.

The first thing she came across was baffling. It was a book titled 'How to Live Life with a Huge Penis." Chloe started, her mouth slack. Was this what she needed? Did she have a huge penis? She glanced down at it but… it wasn't huge now. But she was sure it would have qualified before when it had been erect. Tom had always promised her that he was very well endowed and she was sure hers would have blown him out of the water.

Fascinated, she clicked on the link and immediately fell over giggling.

The 'about' section informed her that the book was for men with Oversized Male Genitalia aka OMG. It then went on to show the first page which had an image of the male insignia, the one you found on bathroom doors, only this one had a small little appendage hanging between his legs. The second image was a little male insignia but instead of the small and normal looking appendage, there was a monstrous limb between his legs equal to the size and shape of the other two legs. This one was marked as a sufferer of 'OMG'.

Chloe laughed herself silly and then added the book to her amazon shopping cart. It would be a great gag gift for Stacie's birthday.

She clicked back to her search and clicked on the second finding. That one made her stop laughing. 'Ten Ways to Keep Your Penis Perfectly Healthy." _Was_ hers perfectly healthy? It was new, right? The article, it turned out, wasn't all of that helpful.

 _Way number one: drink caffeine because it helps ward off erectile dysfunction._

Chloe gave a little tut. Somehow she doubted that was true.

 _Way number two: Lose the weight in your stomach because it blocks testosterone and that created erectile dysfunction._

 _Way number three: Have sex at least once a week because the more sex you have the stronger your erections._

 _Way number four: Get plenty of sleep._

 _Way number five: Drink plenty of water because it creates red blood cells so they can fill your penis when hard._

 _Way number six: Eat spicy food because it increases testosterone which is needed for an erection._

 _Way number seven: Don't smoke, because it could cause erectile dysfunction._

 _Way number eight: Don't drink because it could cause erectile dysfunction._

 _Way number nine: Work out because men who work out are fifty percent less likely to have erectile dysfunction than other men._

 _Way number ten: Manscape._

"Manscape!" Chloe gasped.

 _Manscape because a trimmed bush will make it look bigger._

"Oh my goodness." Chloe clicked away from the page with distaste. Men were _really_ concerned about it not working right, weren't they?

She swallowed and rolled her eyes a little, suddenly a little jittery. Besides, she did all of those things anyway, so it was silly.

Did she need to… she refused to call it manscaping. Did she need to ladyscape? She kept herself neat and tidy down there normally, insistent on that part of her being beautiful. Did she need to do anything new?

She pulled back the waistband of her pants and studied herself.

Well. There was always something that could be done, but she wasn't planning on using this right now.

With a happy little hummed, "Hmmm," she went on with her search.

The next few items in the search were articles, news clippings, and interviews about men who had something called a 'micro-penis'.

Finally, she found a page entitled tips for high school boys and, settling back on her pillows with her laptop in her lap, she began to read.

This page, it turned out, was finally helpful. For example, she learned of this rule titled 'six to midnight' which she found fascinating and a little amusing. Apparently men, when suffering from an erection in public, simply pulled their penis up into their waistband and boom, erection bump ceases to exist. Chloe read that with her mouth hanging open in a perfect O. Did that mean if she went around lifting the shirts of men that she would find the heads of their penises poking out of their pants? "What?" She cried out to the empty room. The thought made her laugh herself silly. She pulled up the waistband of her pajama pants and with some maneuvering and shifting of her sitting position, tucked it as the crudely drawn photo online had shown. It simply fell right back down to hang all but lifelessly between her thighs.

"Hmm."

She tried again, this time scooting her waistband down so it would stay.

It wasn't uncomfortable, she decided. She pulled her lip between her teeth and scowled. She wouldn't fool anyone like this.

She guessed this was the point though. Once it was no longer hard it would slip back down into your pants… maybe.

She frowned at the screen but it didn't say. Wasn't there some type of expert she could ask about this?

Making a note to try that later she continued her online searching.

According to the not so reliable sources on the internet that the fact that her erections were so long was a good thing.

However, as she spent her time looking through these sites one thing was becoming abundantly clear to her. She might have woken up with different parts but she was still female. She hated the words all of these guys online used. 'Boner', 'Erection', 'dick', 'cock', 'stiffy' ... they were all so not her. She liked who she was before, all smooth and pretty. She still felt like that, just... a little different now. So she decided definitively that those words weren't going to apply to her.

She didn't have an erection or a dick, but instead, she had a... she searched for a while as she laid back on her bed, comfortable. She had a 'temporary appendage'. Yes, she liked that. She liked calling it temporary and she liked the insignificance of calling it an appendage. It was like she had grown a second pinkie finger. All right, she giggled to herself, maybe not like that. But it wasn't a big deal, right?

After her online reached was done she spent her time waiting for the girls to return. She had a feeling they would be in foul moods, not having Chloe there to balance Beca out and she was at least a little correct. She was sitting downstairs with a glass of sun tea and a book when the door flew open.

Chloe rose, thinking she should probably change back into tighter pants.

Stacie had been the first to come in, tendrils of her hair sticking to her face and a look like she was going to murder someone. Stacie didn't pause when she saw her. Instead, she just grumbled, "Chlo, if there is anyone you need to use that thing on, it's Becs." Chloe's eyebrows rose. "She needs to relax."

Chloe had giggled to herself all the way into her bedroom.

She had been thinking about it as she wandered around the house, picking things up and being slightly bored. She did have things she wanted to do with it, she had already decided that. She had peed standing up. But what else? She had a checklist and she had no idea how to accomplish any of them. And Beca... she didn't know. Right now she couldn't imagine telling her let alone using it with her. The thought was… she gulped and didn't let herself dwell.

She wasn't exactly excited when she went to pull her super tight jeans back on. They had hurt so much earlier, but they had also done the job, hadn't they? No one had been able to see anything had been different with her and that was awesomesauce. And they had been fine when she hadn't been _excited_. Hoping for another alternative she tried on her normal jeans and even debated a skirt but she felt safer in the tight jeans until she was ready for her secret to be known.

She didn't think it would be a problem. She wasn't going out tonight with everyone. If she felt herself getting spontaneously erect then she would just take off her pants. It wouldn't be a problem… that is, she didn't think so, not until hanging out with Beca that night. And even then, she decided, she just wouldn't allow any kissing.

That thought made her grumpy but it would be better than what would probably happen if they did.

She pictured herself atop of Beca, as she often found herself, her thighs spread to either side of Beca's as they kissed. She was sure she could picture the face that Beca would make when she ground into her, as she also loved to do and Beca not a nasty little surprise.

"Oh my god!" She cried, her hands jumping up to tangle in her hair. No. She wasn't sure who she was shaking her head for, but no. She wouldn't let that happen.

She steeled herself and started downstairs determined.

The rest of the evening was just like normal, and that helped some of Chloe's nerves. Once the bad moods of the extra rigorous Bellas rehearsal were showered away, the girls crowded into the kitchen and though it was Stacie and Ashley's turn to cook dinner, Chloe helped a little. They ate, watched come communal TV while Beca complained about the reality TV show. Then sooner rather than later she was waving the girls off, all of them looking sad that Chloe wasn't coming.

She felt a little better when she was alone… for about a minute. Then she missed them all, saddened that she had stayed behind because of this new thing.

She settled onto her bed with her computer and Netflix and dozed in front of the TV for a while. As she did, she thought of Beca and their evening that was to come. She wasn't positive Beca would show up. The party was probably going to be a good one. She told herself not to get her hopes up. The problem was once her mind drifted to the two of them in her darkened room, it stayed there. Beca had looked amazing in her skirt before she left, all punk rock plaid and sexy. Chloe wasn't sure where it came from but she had been watching Beca's style change as the Bellas became more successful and Beca herself was in the limelight more. She supposed she understood that. She liked the new look though, often liked it very much. Beca's look before had been good, but Beca's look now… Chloe squirmed a little deeper into her bed. Sexy. It was sexy.

Her mind drifted through the possibilities of what they would watch that night. She thought of the kisses they had shared. Most of the time late night TV meant there was a fifty percent chance that they would end up on the bed together, pressed tight and panting or asleep, one with their head in the other's lap. She began to doze again, remembering the best times that Beca had touched her, made her feel as though she was going to explode.

Her eyes suddenly snapped open and she gasped. She didn't even allow herself to get up before she was suddenly reaching for the button of the jeans and scrambling to pull them off. She watched with amusement as the bulge under her panties rose until it made a perfect arch.

"Well damn." She muttered. At least this time she could honestly say she was aroused. She was usually aroused when she thought of Beca that way.

Softly, she ran her hand down the top of the arch and shuddered. At least that still felt good.

She had had so many of these already. She was beginning to feel like a deviant a little bit. She grabbed her phone, ignoring the slight throbbing she felt in her lower belly and in the rigid shaft and typed into her internet browser, 'how many erections do most men get in a day'. She wasn't sure how she felt about the answer. According to sexhealthmatters most men had around eleven in one day. Eleven! Suddenly she was beginning to sympathize with men a little more.

She dropped her phone and looked at her vaulted underwear.

Well, she did have her to-do list.

She stood and carefully removed her underwear. It was strange seeing this attached to her, though what was stranger was how short it was when it wasn't all worked up this way. She had been with men like that too. When they first removed their boxers you were a little concerned about them and about your night with them and then the moment they got aroused it suddenly grew into something memorable. Experimentally she ran a finger down the top and over the head. It felt wonderful, just as good as it had ever felt to slip her hand inside her panties.

So she decided.

If she was going to do this then she was going to do it properly. She locked her door, despite being alone in the house and went to her dresser to gather a few Kleenex from the cardboard pink heart covered box. She supposed she would need them... right? She paused, stunned. Would she?

"Better safe than sorry," she said in a singsong to herself. She was about to settle onto the bed when she realized she would need something now. This was getting complicated. Was there always this much prep work? She debated for a moment, thinking of the little packs of lube she had taken home when Planned Parenthood had last been on campus, but no, that seemed messy. So instead she settled on lotion. It was good for the skin after all.

She laid down, unsure of exactly what to do here. She had never done it from this angle. She was a little embarrassed, she realized, and she thought that was strange. She touched herself all of the time. Why because it was a little different now did that mean that she should be embarrassed?

She carefully put a bit of the lotion into her hand and reached down, her mind still on one of the last times that she and Beca had made out. She remembered the way that her own leg had come up, pressing into Beca's center and wishing it was her hand. She remembered the muffled moan that Beca had let out and how, as if almost panicked by her reaction, she had suddenly moved her lips from Chloe's to her neck, biting down to muffle another sound. It had driven Chloe mad to feel her teeth in her skin like that, to feel the way Beca's hand had slid from her back and to Chloe's lower belly as though she had wanted to reach down further but hadn't known if she could. Chloe, frustrated and panting, had pressed her thigh again and Beca's back had arched off of her, pressing deeper into Chloe's leg and then Beca had changed. It always happened somewhere while they were kissing. Chloe would push and then suddenly a wire would snap in Beca. Suddenly Beca's teeth had been in Chloe's throat again, making her moan and Beca had been the one pressing. She had pressed and rubbed, scooting so it was her hips rubbing against Chloe in just the right spot, over and over again, her look determined. Chloe had gotten very close that night.

Chloe groaned. She hadn't been paying attention to herself and her hips had begun to move, just like that night. Only this time, instead of grinding on an invisible person, she was slowly and carefully thrusting into her hand.

The realization made her groan again.

It was almost kind of sexy, this secret. She gently rubbed up and down again, her lip between her teeth. It felt different, that was for sure. She just, she thought she wasn't quite doing it right. She sat up, her back pressed against the wall and tried again. Carefully, she squeezed a little at the base and that felt good. She pulled, gliding gently downward and that felt good as well. Carefully she came to the head and she purposely rounded it with her fingers. That had her head drop back against the wall and so she did it again. Slowly she found a rhythm, moving purposely slow. In her mind, she pictured many things, the same as she usually did. Men with huge pecks. Women in short skirts. Jason Momoa. The super sexy scene between Drogo and Khaleesi in the first season of Game of Thrones. The way that she moaned when Beca's hips pressed into her. The look on Beca's face, so concentrated and yet her mouth open and panting, her hands pinning Chloe's to the bed. She wasn't sure if it was completely okay that she was thinking of Beca, but her mind kept going there. She imagined what Beca's face would look like the moment their jeans were gone and she was slipping past her underwear to feel how wet Chloe had become. Her hand began to move faster, pumping as she wondering if Beca would groan or if Beca would stay silent. "Oh shit." She moaned a little to herself, her eyes closed. She remembered the time not so long ago when Beca, reserved, grumpy, Beca who swore she couldn't be sexy and didn't even want to be, spent the afternoon teaching the girls the proper way to do a body wave. Chloe's toes curled back, her teeth ground together hard as she felt the pressure building in her body. It had been the thing that Beca had done against her that night, that body wave. "Oh fuck!" Chloe gasped out as she felt herself reaching the edge. "Shit!" She realized that if she wasn't careful she as going to make a mess. She grabbed the Kleenex, feeling the impending wave edge off a little. She wasn't sure how to be ready and push herself into orgasm. She thought of that body roll again, of how sure of herself Beca had seemed as she showed Stacie of all people how to do it. "Oh fuck!" With a high moan, her back arching so she pressed deeper into her hand, she felt herself explode and it wasn't like before. She could feel her body pumping, pushing out blast after blast of liquid. She tried to catch it, cupping her hand around the head at the last moment but still it fell across her crossed legs and her sheets, pushing out with a power that surprised her. "Oh god." She moaned when she was spent and fall back against the wall. Her hand was messy, covered in it and ohsnap, her sheets. She had tried but it had just come out so much faster when you didn't have your lips around the tip waiting or were planning on letting it fall against his stomach. She swore again, watching it shrink.

Downstairs the door suddenly slammed.

"Chloe? We're home!" Beca called from downstairs, sending her into an absolute blind panic. She was half-naked and covered in her own fluids. She could hear feet on the stairs, Beca enthusiastic for this night. She hit a locked door and gave a grunt of surprise.

"Shit!" Chloe hissed in a high, panicked voice. "Shit!"

"Chlo?" Beca called, her voice worried.

"Just a minute!" she cried grabbing the tissues and going to work on cleaning herself up. "I'll meet you downstairs!"

She was sure she was still flushed when she made her way downstairs to see just Beca and Stacie.

Beca was looking at her curiously over a glass of water whereas Stacie had clearly come home because she had already had too much to drink. She was leaning awkwardly against the counter, her eyes somewhat unfocused.

She just flashed them a smile and went to make herself a snack, suddenly hungry.

"What's with all the locked door suddenly, Chlo?" Beca asked, her voice deceptively casual.

Stacie's grin was huge and lecherous. "Yeah, Chlo. What's with all the locked doors?"

Beca glanced at Stacie, alarmed. "She knows!" She accused loudly.

"Oh my gosh, Beca." Chloe chuckled. "Don't worry so much. And you!" She pushed Stacie a little, shoving her toward the hallway leading to her room. "You need to brush your teeth."

Stacie's eyebrows waggled, "uh huh."

"Right. Ima…" Beca glanced between the two of them and then pointedly down at Stacie's hand which was on Chloe's arm. "I'mma change. I'll see you in a second."

"Oh my god, Stacie!" Chloe cried the moment Beca was gone.

Stacie's mind was clearly on other things though. "Hey Chlo, I was thinking."

Chloe looked up from the sandwich she had been making.

"I was thinking, you're gonna wanna try that thing out, right?"

Chloe just blinked at her, a fan of red hair falling in her face.

"Well, why don't you try it out with me?"

"What?" Chloe laughed.

"Yeah, come on. Show whatcha workin' with."

"Ohmygod, Stace, you're crazy." She had a feeling Stacie was even drunker than she had thought.

"Nu-uh!" Stacie grabbed her arm. "Come oooon! When am I ever gonna get this chance again? You know I think you're sexy, Chlo, let's do the do!"

Chloe just chuckled and turned Stacie back toward the hallway again.

"At least think about it!"

"Okay, I'll think about it." She promised, not meaning it at all. Sex with Stacie… she had thought about it but… but no.

She was still chuckling when she walked into her room.

She stopped when she turned and saw Beca in a pair of tiny sleep shorts resting comfortably on her bed.

She blew out a breath. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

Thanks for reading!  
Going to try to have the next chapter up in a few days.


	4. Chapter 4

"What time is it?" Chloe asked to cover her weird moment of silence.

"Only eleven." Beca smiled at her but the smile was tight and forced. They both knew Chloe was keeping something from her, which was very unusual and what's more, that Beca didn't like it.

"Oh." Chloe sat at the opposite end of the bed a little uncomfortable. The jeans were very tight and Beca was staring at her like she might be able to pluck the answer from Chloe's skin. She was afraid she might. Which was silly because she was sure that Beca wouldn't guess this in a million years. "Why are you back so early? Wasn't a good party?"

Beca's face only grew more confused. "You and I have a movie date, don't we?"

"Oh." She said again, and then a smile began to bloom on her face before she gave it permission. Her heart was fluttering and she felt silly but she didn't mind. Sometimes, at times like this, she wondered about them. Beca, it sometimes seemed, really actually _did_ like her. Not just I-want-to-suck-on-your-face kind of like her but actually _like_ her kind of like her.

Something in her face must have shown Chloe's thoughts because Beca began to fidget and looked away, embarrassed to have been caught being sweet. "So, what'd you wanna watch?" Beca asked, her fingers picking at the sheet under her.

It made Chloe want to laugh and roll her eyes. Only Beca could feel embarrassed for being so sweet. Emboldened by Beca's complete Beca-ness, Chloe began to crawl her way over the bed to settle beside her. "I don't know. What do you think?"

Beca didn't answer that question though and instead looked down at Chloe's jeans. "Not gonna have a pajama party tonight?"

Chloe just smiled and shrugged.

Beca was staring again, not fooled by Chloe's casual attitude. "Hot date later?"

Chloe fluttered her eyelashes over her shoulder at Beca and whispered in her best and most seductive voice, "Maybe. You'll have to let me know how hot it is though."

Beca's cheeks went pink and then red and she shifted a little.

Chloe loved it, loved making Beca blush like that. Thoughts of how it would feel when she woke the next morning alone in her bed tried to invade but she shook them off. That wasn't going to happen because she wasn't going to give Beca a reason to feel embarrassed, not tonight. Not that Beca should ever feel embarrassed, she reasoned.

Oh Beca, she thought, your complexity is both frustrating and awesome.

Chloe didn't make Beca watch a movie but instead they put on a funny TV show and settled in. Beca sighed and rested her head on Chloe's shoulder. She could smell the whiskey on Beca's breath and while she didn't think she was drunk, she also didn't think she was sober. The smell of whiskey probably meant shots with Stacie. It had probably been a great party then. Had she really come home so early just for her? Did that _mean_ something? She didn't know, and that drove her a little crazy.

Chloe was always and had always been the forward one between them, she knew that and so she knew that it was usually she who leaned in for a kiss or took Beca's hand. She hadn't tonight though, trying to avoid even the smallest temptation. She liked Beca's hands. They were tiny – Beca was tiny – but they could be masterful and more than once Chloe had rocked herself into orgasm with the thought of them on her bare skin. She didn't need that reminder tonight and so she hadn't taken them. In fact, she had stayed beside Beca, her back straight, her hands clasped together in her own lap. No temptations.

Beca, however, had apparently noticed the lack of handholding because it only took a few minutes for her to give a large and overly dramatic sigh. Chloe saw Beca's hand move out of the corner of her eye, not atop of Chloe's but just beside it, her pinkie brushing up against Chloe's pinkie. The best part about Beca when she drank was that it took away Beca's inner chatter, letting her be exactly who she wanted to be without discomfort. Slowly Beca's hand crept barely moving until, with a sigh of relief as though she had gotten away with something, Beca clasped Chloe's hand in her own with a tight squeeze.

It was like a junior high boy reaching over to hold their dates hand for the first time in some darkened movie theater. It was so sweet, so innocent that it made Chloe's heart want to burst open. Beca had stopped blinking as her hand had been moving. She had very obviously lost the ability to watch the show and be sneaky because her eyes had glossed over. It had been so… so… so cute. Chloe squeezed Beca's hand back and continued watching, a smile on her lips.

It was hard not to follow her usual pattern. When Beca scooted in a little closer Chloe had cleared her throat, a little worried. Maybe she should pretend to not feel well and get Beca _off of her bed_ but this was her _Beca time_! She didn't want to lose it. And Beca was being so sweet, and it felt so good to have Beca there with her.

Slowly as she lost interest in the show, Beca started to push. Her fingers traced the freckles on Chloe's arm and she sighed, nuzzling a little deeper into her shoulder.

Chloe felt all of this with a bristled stiffness and tried to ignore it. Her eyes closed. She wasn't sure she was strong enough to ignore Beca when she wanted attention.

Beca's hand slipped out of Chloe's and onto her inner thigh. Chloe swallowed thickly and pretended she hadn't felt it.

Finally, Beca grew impatient. She turned a little, her face going deeper into Chloe's neck until Chloe felt Beca's thin lips press lightly into the skin under her jaw.

She gave a wobbly exhale.

Normally they would have been horizontal long before now. It was only sheer will keeping Chloe from allowing it to happen.

She didn't know what to do. She wanted to kiss Beca. She really did, but if she did then it would hurt, and if it hurt then her secret was no longer secret.

Emboldened by Chloe's lack of response Beca leaned in and caught the very tip of Chloe's ear with her teeth. The thrill of it sent a shock through Chloe's entire body.

She had to say something. Maybe she would just tell her and Beca would be cool with just letting her flag fly.

The thought was mortifying.

Beca sighed, the warm air brushing against Chloe's ear and she was melting. When Beca reached forward and with one finger pulled Chloe's chin around so she could kiss her, Chloe answered with a fire that made Beca squeak and then moan.

What could she do? She was human. And Beca's lips tasted so good. She leaned into her, pulling Beca in by the small of the back.

There was almost no time between their lips meeting and when Chloe was on her back with Beca over her. A very distant part of her mind was panicked. She knew there was no way that she could remain calm, not with the fury that Beca's tongue was gliding along hers, not when her hands were already hovering over Chloe's hips. Beca was so into it and that was Chloe's undoing at all times.

She didn't know what to do. She thought of things that weren't this… their last ICCA competitors, the fact that her favorite socks almost had a hole and where she could replace them, the characters on the show.

"I was thinking about this all night," Beca muttered, her teeth graving Chloe collarbone.

"Ohmygod," she gasped all in one. Chloe bit her lip, feeling herself stirring. Maybe it could be fine. Maybe she could do this. She tried hard not to focus on the manic way Beca was sighing, the way her hands were balled into Chloe's shirt. Instead, she thought about the workout routine she had recently started, what she wanted to make for breakfast. It helped. She hated it, hated holding back like this, but it was working.

Beca, it seemed, could feel her holding back as well as it was frustrating her. She pulled Chloe's shirt collar down an inch, her fingers tracing the skin, she kissed into her cleavage, just past the point of appropriate. Still, when Chloe wasn't a trembling mess like always Beca seemed to push it even further. Looking for the response she knew, her hands slid up Chloe's sides and cupped Chloe's breast, her teeth nipping hard at her skin.

"Oh god." Chloe moaned as Beca's thumb found her hardening nipple. She was going to have to stop but Beca's mouth had dropped, her lips pulling on the nipple through the fabric and Chloe didn't want to stop, she wanted her shirt gone. Beca had never done with before. There had been touching, but her mouth... that was new.

Chloe clutched at Beca's head, her back arched against Beca's mouth, trying to focus on unimportant things as her hips began to rock. Beca ground down on her hard.

Chloe's eyes popped open in shock. "Oh god." The orgasm she had earlier hadn't exactly felt better or worse than her normal orgasms. It had been _good_ , but they were almost always good. This… but this… grinding against Beca's hip and thigh when her genitalia was suddenly on the outside, _that_ was different. That was earth-shatteringly delightful. That was - She felt Beca's teeth slightly bite her and she cried out. "Beca, I'm about to have-" she cut herself off the with a gasp, feeling herself growing very hard and very fast. All of her mental control collapsed.

"What? Really?" Beca pulled back, her face surprised but pleased, thinking Chloe had been announcing an imminent orgasm. Chloe noted with delighted horror that her hands didn't stop caressing.

"No, no, no, no!" Chloe cried to herself. "Oh no, I'm about to have a problem!"

"What?"

It hit like a sledgehammer to the groin. She cried out, unsure if she could move. She felt like the skin was stretching, going from soft to hard too fast, she felt like her jeans were going to explode under the pressure, like the skin was ripping open to accommodate the sudden erection. She could feel each and every stitch in the jeans and they felt as hard as rock. "FUCK!" She pushed Beca off and rolled to her side, her hands clamping down on the sheets.

"Chloe? What the fuck? Chlo?"

She was gritting her teeth, willing it to stop. Too fast! It had come on too fast! She hadn't had time to get to the bathroom, hadn't had time to do anything. She should have cancelled their movie plans! She shouldn't have let Beca into her room!

This was so silly! Was it supposed to be like this?

"Okay, this is twice today!" Beca cried.

Chloe didn't answer.

"Chloe!"

She still didn't answer.

"That's it! I'm calling someone. I dunno, an ambulance or something." She felt Beca's hand on her forehead for a second, giving it a soft caress before she disappeared.

Chloe reached for her, panicked at the idea of Beca doing anything like that. "No, don't call!" She dryly sobbed out. "Don't call, just help me up."

She didn't have to see Beca's look of incredulity to know it was there. "I don't think you should be getting up. You look like you're dying."

"It's my pants." She gasped out. "It's my pants and…" she stopped. She couldn't exactly explain that she had gone from soft to fully hard in a matter of moments. "Please, help me up." She wanted to get to the bathroom. If she got to the bathroom then she could do the whole six to midnight thing and maybe it would help.

"Bec." She reached out and pulled Beca back down beside her. She just had to say it. She had to tell her. And she had to get her pants off. "Bec. I have an erection." The words had just tumbled out before she had been able to think about them. She gasped a little at herself and humiliated, she buried her face in her bed. "And my pants are too tight."

Beca laughed, probably thinking she was teasing. "Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go set Stacie. She'll probably know exactly what to do with that."

"Bec, I'm serious. Please. Help me up. I need to take these jeans off."

"Seriously, Chloe. What's going on?"

"I promise, I'm telling you the truth."

"Okay, Chloe, you don't have a dick. Okay? I'm _sure_ of that."

Perhaps it was the pain that was making her mind stupid but in her frustration she grabbed Beca's hand and placed it over the proper spot in her jeans. She hadn't thought that through though. She was used to having her sex organs on the inside, where touching there wouldn't have been a big deal. The moment Beca's hand pressed she let out a loud, breathy moan. She wanted so much more of that and also so much less. She was pretty sure the problem was that an erect penis wasn't supposed to bend the way it was, caught stretched across her hip against her in the overly small space.

"The fuck?" Beca ripped her hand away, holding it against her like it had been burned. "Dude! What is that?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get like this! You were just kissing me and touching me and… ow."

"Dude." Beca cried. " _Dude._ I don't _understand_ _what's happening_." Her eyes were wide as she stared at Chloe. She turned, almost as if she were angry, almost as if she felt like Chloe was teasing her.

Chloe's hand shot out, grabbing Beca before she could retreat. "Bec, if you run away now I'm going to feel like the world's biggest freak." Beca just blinked at her, the look of anger fading. "Please don't go. Let me explain."

A flash of hurt crossed Beca's face. "I wasn't going anywhere," she mumbled.

Chloe frowned, her heart beating happily for a moment. "I'm sorry. I thought…" she let the sentence fall.

"Are you wearing a – a-" Beca's eye twitched a little, "a dildo or something?"

"No," Chloe groaned. She shifted a little and the pain lessened. She realized that she had been leaning on it a little.

"How do you have a dick?" Beca asked in a cool monotone that told Chloe she still didn't believe her.

Chloe paused. "I'm going to sound crazy."

"That's not an answer."

"Will you sit down?" Chloe asked, feeling sensitive in more than one way. She supposed she should have known that the evening would go this way. She had been fooling herself a little bit.

She started explaining before Beca had even fully sat down.

Beca stared, her eyes wide but listening.

When Chloe was done with the weird story that had been her recent life, she leaned back against the wall, thankful that the pain was receding. It still hurt worse than it had that afternoon. She had more online research to do.

Beca was silent as Chloe thought, debating with herself about what exactly to do next.

"Can I see it?"

"What?" Chloe's head whipped around, eyes popped wide. She had _not_ expected that to be the first thing that Beca said after she explained. Not at all. "You want to me my... this? Is it because you don't believe me that it's there? Because I promise, it's really there.''

"I mean," Beca pushed some fallen hair back behind her ear, her eyes avoiding Chloe, "not because I want to _see it_ -see it, but because, I don't know, you're Chloe with a penis! I'm not totally sure that you're not messing with me."

"I'm not."

"Okaaay." Beca frowned. Her eyes were wide and very blue and in them Chloe could see a lot of things at once. "But like… I dunno, Chlo, it's weird. How is that even possible?"

"Are you making excuses for wanting to see it?"

"What? No! I just – ugh, never mind."

"You want to see it."

"I mean," Beca's eyes flicked to her and back down at the bed, "I guess."

"Beca!"

"Chloe!"

Chloe scowled, feeling strange. Why was a request to see it the first thing that happened twice now? Then again, she supposed if Beca woke up with one of these then that would have been Chloe's first request too.

She wasn't going to show it to Beca, she decided, not like she did Stacie. She leaned back a little, her back resting against the wall, and unbuttoned her jeans. It was hard to work the jeans down enough that the top of the bulge through her panties was showing. She had to reach down and press it down, which hurt, but eventually got the zipper down. Her teeth gnawed on her lip, her eyes watered as she waited for Beca to speak. She couldn't look up so instead she just stared across the room, waiting.

"And you didn't always have a dick and just didn't tell me?" Beca asked, awe in her voice.

"Oh my god, Beca! Don't call it that!" Chloe cried her head snapping around to glare at Beca. "It's my _temporary appendage_ and no! Beca, you've seen me naked!"

"True, true." Beca was still staring, her eyes glued.

Embarrassed Chloe looked down too and realized that the bulge had pulled down her panties a little showing some wisps of gingery curls and the very base of her appendage where it connected to her stomach.

She cleared her throat and pulled the jeans back up, unhappy to do so.

The room was silent for a few seconds. Chloe wasn't sure what to say next. She still needed to get her jeans off.

"That looks uncomfortable."

"It is!" She cried. "Girl jeans weren't made for this!"

Beca was silent a long time again and in the silence Chloe wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry.

This was weird. She knew it was weird. Beca usually went running even before she had this thing. Beca was going to run, she knew it. Beca had put her mouth on her breast tonight and now this. Beca was _going_ to run. She waited for it, for Beca to move, to make an excuse, to dive for the door. It was torture as the seconds ticked by.

Finally, she couldn't take the stiff silence anymore. She pushed herself up and grabbed her pajama pants. Once in the bathroom she did everything she could, except that one main thing, to make it go down fully. She snapped a rubber hand on her wrist, she raised her face in cold water, she removed her jeans and underwear so there could be no friction.

It didn't work, none of it. It wasn't until she thought about the fact that her bedroom was probably going to be empty when she left the bathroom that it finally went down. The thought of that, of the place where Beca had been sitting going cool, it made her eyes water again.

She waited another minute before pulling her pajamas on.

She felt tears burning in her eyes as she left the bathroom, ready for the heartbreak of her best friend having run off again.

But Beca wasn't gone. She was in the exact same place, at the far end of her bed, leaning back against the wall and looking thoughtful.

Chloe looked at her beautiful, thoughtful face and burst into tears.

Beca jumped, shocked as if Chloe had sprouted another penis, this one in the middle of her forehead.

"Wha – what the hell just happened?" Beca cried.

"I'm a freak!"

"What? No, you're not!"

"How can you say that, Beca?" She wailed, feeling foolish and yet like she had every right to her tears.

"You're just…" Beca's eyes darted as she looked for the right words. "Going through some… stuff."

It almost made Chloe laugh.

"Come here."

She sat down and let Beca pull her into a hug.

"So you got it, errm, right after I said… that _thing_ , huh?" Beca asked in a small voice once Chloe's tears had slowed.

Chloe gave a wet chuckle. "Yeah."

"And none of the other girls…?"

"No. Stacie seemed mad that she didn't get one too."

Beca's head fell back against the wall she was leaning on with a huge eye roll. "Of _course_ she was!" But she was laughing with Chloe now.

It was nice, Chloe thought. She thought that this probably wouldn't happen once the pain had started. She had thought the night ruined. But this… it was nice.

"So." Beca smiled a little and looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "Have you done anything fun with it?"

Chloe's jaw dropped. "Beca Mitchell, are you asking me if I've had sex with anyone?" She cried, loving the way Beca _instantly_ went red.

"What? No! I didn't… no! I just meant, ugh! Why do you _do_ these things to me!"

Chloe smirked and, quickly before she could be stopped, gave Beca's cheek a quick peck. "Because it's easy."

Beca scoffed.

"I masturbated today." Chloe offered.

Beca's eyes blew wide, her head shaking a little bit. "Whoa."

"Well, you asked about fun."

Beca nodded a little as if to say yeah, I guess I did do that. Beca's eyes flashed to her, to the spot in her pants where a bulge would be, and back twice. Chloe watched, her tears forgotten, replaced by sassy amusement.

"You know what else I did?"

Beca looked at her like she was sure she didn't want to know so Chloe went on telling her all about peeing standing up and bouncing it like it was a basketball and by the end Beca was on her side, huddled into herself to try and control her laughter.

"That didn't _hurt_?"

"No!" Chloe giggled. "It bounces all the time anyway. I was just kind of-" she gave a few hip bounces as if she were twerking. "And it danced."

"Oh my god."

"I also went like this." She shook her hips a little, this time side to side.

Big owl eyes stared at her from behind her hands. "Ohmygod, this is so weird." She finally said, pushing herself up. "I mean like…"

"I know,"

"So…"

Chloe watched Beca with interest and she sat back up and leaned against the wall. She was getting all squirmy again which meant that Beca had something major to ask.

"Does it look like all other…" she huffed, blowing out a breath that puffed her cheeks. "I mean- I dunno, does it look weird?"

Chloe considered that. "I don't know. It's hard to say because it's on me which makes it automatically weird."

"Okay yeah, but-"

"I guess it looks like the guy's that I've been with tough."

"Errr…"

"Stacie says it pretty."

The look on Beca's face was suddenly very strange. "Okay, what?" She gave a halted laugh that somehow didn't quite work and instead of sounding normal, pointed out the awkwardness. " _Stacie_ has seen it? No way! Whip it out, Beale, there's no way Stacie is going to know something about you that I don't."

It made Chloe laugh but it also made Chloe's chest warm. "Nu-uh!"

"Come on!" Beca playfully pulled on the waist of Chloe's jeans. Not hard enough to move them, but enough to make her point. "Whip it out!"

Chloe shrieked and held them tight, bellowing "no, no, no!"

Beca dived across her, pinning her to the bed as she tickled and pretended to yank the pants off, making Chloe's shrieks grow louder. She hated being tickled, but at this moment she loved it.

"Whip it out, Beale!" Beca cried. "Come on, aren't you supposed to be trying to get women to say that now that you have one?"

Chloe gave a mocking gasp. "I am _not_ a guy, Beca!" She wasn't going to point out exactly how much Beca's insistence made her want to 'whip it out' with a very specific purpose in mind.

"HEY! FUCK HER QUIETER, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Stacie's voice yelled from the next room over.

Both froze.

"Oooo," Beca hissed, her eyes wide again. "Did she just say-"

"No way!" Chloe jumped, giving a shrug. "She's just drunk."

Beca gave an unconvinced huff and fell, her falling into Chloe's neck, blowing warm air across her skin and – Chloe froze. Were Beca's hands still in her lap? Were they - yes, they were! They were still on the waist of her pajama pants, in fact they were pressed… cupped, almost grasped, and oh god.

"Oh no, Beca!" She cried. There would be no hiding it now that she was in pajamas.

"What's wrong?"

"Your hands!" She wailed, waiting, knowing it was coming. "It's going to make me… I'm going to get…"

"Oh!" Beca's hands flew away from the spot where they had been pressed into her. "Errr, here!"

Chloe yelped as suddenly Beca was yanking on the tender part of her ear.

"OW! Ow, ow, ow! Beca!"

"Sorry!" Beca shot back, her nose scrunched in the cutest way. "That's what Jesse used to do."

"Oh." She wanted to frown. She didn't want to hear about Beca talk about Jesse's penis, but hey, it had worked.

"Sorry, did that hurt? Well," Beca's eyes rolled, "I guess that's the point, but you know what I mean."

Chloe smiled a little.

"What?"

"You're cute."

That seemed to surprise a smile out of Beca.

"Whatever. You didn't distract me. What exactly does a magic peni – I mean a temporary appendage actually look like?"

Chloe studied Beca. She was doing it again. Her voice had been full of vibrato, but her face, she wasn't looking at her. She was blushing, twitching in place a little.

She _wants_ to see it, Chloe realized. She wanted to, but, why? Was it really just so Stacie wouldn't have one up on her? Or was it… heat flooded her, making it twitch in place.

Chloe squirmed a little. It was… this was kind of sexy. "I think Stacie was right. It is pretty. It's smooth when it's… you know. I don't know, Bec," Chloe said through a small smile. "The skin is the same shade as the skin here." She lifted up her shirt and gently touched the skin of her lower belly. Beca's face was pink as she played with the hem of her own pants. Still, her eyes glanced quickly over and back. "And the head is the same shade of pink as my nipples."

Beca's eyes rolled up to the ceiling, her pink face going red. "Uh huh."

"Is that… are those the colors you were before?"

A bolt shot straight through her stomach. She could have moaned at the question. Beca really had no idea how sexy she was. "Bec." She said in a soft purr that made all of the red drain out of Beca's face at once. "If you wanted to see me before, you could have."

Beca froze. Her mouth opened… closed… opened… closed. She looked more like a fish than a woman.

Chloe ignored that and went on. "You still can. I know I'm different, but if you wanted… more, you could have it."

Beca's breath came out in a thin whine as it slowly released.

Chloe just waited, feeling herself half stiff already, her heart beating hard in her chest. _Had_ Beca wanted more? She wasn't sure that made any sense. Beca had always run, but right now… She wondered what Beca would do if she leaned over and kissed her throat.

Before she could Beca let out another fast breath and rolled her eyes. "Okay, whatever." She leaned over and pulled off her pants to sleep in her tee shirt and jeans like normal. "Let's just go to bed, you freak."

Chloe grinned, amused. The red had not left Beca's face.

"I don't know, Becs, it seems like you really want to see it."

Beca retaliated by throwing a pillow into her face.

Chloe yelped and hit her with it.

They crawled under the sheet, Beca sighing with comfort.

The sound made Chloe want to laugh and yell and cheer. Beca sounded so comfortable and relaxed. That was a huge achievement on any day, but an even bigger one after the talk they had just had.

She wondered idly if she should refuse to let Beca sleep, if she should push and see if Beca really did want more. She wondered idly if she could lean over and kiss her again. After all, Beca knew now.

She settled instead for giving Beca's shoulder a bite.

Beca gasped, her hand shooting to push Chloe's teeth away. "Jerk."

Chloe giggled and rolled onto her back. She was thankful, for once, for the roomy bed. The little moan and gasp Beca had just done… the fact that she was in her bed… Chloe made a little bit of a guilty face and glanced over at Beca.

She had just clicked the light off and seemed completely unaware of Chloe.

That was okay.

Chloe scooted her pants down a little and then gently moved herself so she could tuck the newly arisen erection securely into the waistband of her pants.

That was okay. Maybe it was okay that she was like this, aroused and hard. After all, Beca had wanted to see it.

"Night, Becs," she sighed, tucked her face against Beca's shoulder blades. Beca shifted a little, pressing against Chloe. If she noticed Chloe's state, she didn't mention it. Chloe bit her lip and wrapped an arm around her waist. Without much fuss, she fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

A warning guys, this is only loosely edited. Might be rough.

* * *

"Mmmm," Chloe sleepily hummed as she woke. Her eyes were only still creaking open and yet she already knew she felt great. She felt more than great. She gave into a large yawn which then turned into a sigh. How could she not feel great? There was a small brunette curled up into a tiny fetal ball in her bed. Beca had stayed. A small smile touched Chloe's lips. The sun was shining bright and beautiful through the window, Beca was in her bed, and she had just woken up from the best dream. Things were very good this morning.

The best part was that it was a dream she thought might turn into reality soon. Well, okay, maybe not _totally_ , she reasoned, but after the night before, after she had learned what Beca's mouth felt like on her clothed nipple, she thought maybe, just maybe.

In the dream she had been on top of Beca. Her skin had been glistening under Chloe's hands, her breast pert as they rocked. Beca's teeth had been bared, her hands clasped tightly on Chloe's hips, so tightly that there had been pain at the points of her fingers, but that had only increased Chloe's pleasure. She had been riding Beca's hips like mad. She hadn't been sure in her dreams confusion if it was Beca who had the penis or if it had been a strap-on. All she knew was that she had been working Beca hard. She had rolled on her, thrusting hard enough that the bed had shifted a little, shoved forward, only for it to slide the other direction. She had cried out again and again as she pounded down on Beca, rivers of pleasure swooping through her. When she had reached orgasm it had been like one she had never experienced before because it had been _Beca_ under her. Those bluish gray eyes had been wild like Chloe had never seen before. It had been the type of lust that Chloe had always hoped for, had always hoped to be the focus of. It had been Beca a stone's throw from happy insanity and it had driven Chloe over the edge with a ferocity that, had it been real, would have shattered her apart.

Her early morning smile turned lecherous. That had been a good way to start the day.

She shifted a little and cuddled in a little closer, burying her nose in Beca's back. She was going to breathe in her clean Beca smell and then let herself slip back into sleep, the smell in her nose, the dream on her mind. Instead her face hit something wet, jarring her out of her reverie. She scowled, pushing back a little. The summer heat in Atlanta was very hot but-

She had to blink once, twice before what she was seeing processed in her sleepy state.

That was… what… _noooooooo!_

All the color, feeling, warmth drained from her face.

Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh my god. Her mind was in full Chloe-panic mode. Oh my god. That was all she could think, over and over, oh my god. She was crying already, and she wasn't even ashamed, not of that at least.

No, no, this couldn't be happening! _Oh god!_

Up Beca's back!

It was up – Beca's – back!

She and Beca hadn't moved from their cuddling positions all night, both lost too deeply to sleep. And that _dream_. That must have been it. When she came in the dream, as wonderful and mind melting as it had been in her dream, she must have also had an orgasm in real life and now, up Beca's back was a splotchy line of… of, oh god, of everything Chloe's newfound appendage had to offer. It had smooshed up her back like a Jackson Pollock.

Chloe stared through her teary eyes in horror. Dreams always felt as though you woke up directly from them in the morning but she clearly hadn't because the splotch on her own shirt and the stain on _Beca's back_ had begun to dry a little, turning stiff and crusty. In fact, when Chloe had pulled back the shirts hadn't wanted to separate for a moment, stuck like glue.

Her stomach flipped and for just a moment she thought she understood Aubrey's proclivity for stress vomiting in a whole new way.

She didn't understand, she didn't understand at all. How had that happened? Okay, the dream, but up Beca's back…

She remembered tucking it safely into her waistband before falling asleep, but it was supposed to fall back down. Gravity! Gravity was supposed to make it fall! She leaned back to see her new appendage stuck, trapped in the waist of her pajama pants. It was supposed to fall back down, she was sure of that! It was supposed to fall back down once it was soft. That was what the guys online had said! Why hadn't it worked? Even now she could see the head poking out of the top like it wanted to say good morning.

"No, no, no, no." She hadn't meant to speak, didn't want to wake Beca but her mortification was so complete that she had lost the ability to stop herself.

Oh god, it was caught, her mind screamed at her. The waistband had been caught by a small fold of skin just under the head and she hadn't moved in the night.

Gravity had _failed her!_

Beside her, Beca stirred.

Chloe's vision went panicked-white and without thinking, she grabbed Beca's shoulders, not allowing her to move.

"Gah! Jesus, the fuck!" Beca bellowed, startled out of sleep.

Chloe's eyes were squeezed closed.

"Okay," she muttered to herself, "how do I fix this? How do I-"

"Chloe? Wha?" Beca grumbled sleepily. "What's wrong?"

Her mind worked but she couldn't think of anything to do to stop Beca from finding out. She wished she would stress vomit. She was sure that she would rather vomit on Beca then have done this!

"Oh my god!" she finally cried. She was going to have to let Beca find out. There was nothing else she could do.

"What?"

"Beca…" She bit her lip, hard, stalling. One, two, three, just spit it out. "Beca, I came on you!" she cried into the calm morning.

The room was silent. Beca didn't move. Chloe didn't move, too busy staring at the stain in horror. Outside Chloe could hear the Greek house next door doing their morning drunken bugle. A car honked somewhere not too far away. A bathroom or bedroom door closed downstairs. Crickets could have been heard.

Silence and then a high splintering word broke shattered the calm. "WHAT?"

"Oh my god, Beca, I'm so sorry!"

"Oh my god, I can FEEL IT!" Beca cried as she jumped up, twisting over and over like a windup toy, trying to see her back. She looked like a puppy chasing her tail only… horrified.

"Oh my god, Beca, I'm _so_ sorry!"

"You came on me?"

"Beca!" Chloe howled, humiliated.

"You _came_ on me? _What_ were you dreaming about?" Beca shouted, her eyes five times too large.

"I don't know, I don't know!" Chloe wailed, embarrassed tears beginning to fall. "I don't know what to say, Beca! What do you say when you come on your best friend's back?"

Beca froze, her huge eyes turning on her. Chloe's hands had shot over her mouth, shutting up any more words that wanted to come out.

They stared at one another, neither blinking, barely breathing.

And then a small hiss came from Chloe's nose. And then another.

Oh no! She was going to start laughing, oh no! This wasn't funny!

Beca's eyes grew all the wider as a snort popped out of Chloe.

"Chloe!" she wailed, "This isn't funny! I have cum on me!"

Chloe snorted hard, her tears still falling as she began to laugh. Oh god, it was so horrible, it was so bad.

"So do I!" She cried between hiccupping laughs she was trying to hide.

"IT'S YOUR CUM!"

Despite her humiliation, despite her tears, Chloe was laughing. It was all so silly. She had a penis. A _penis._ And with that _penis_ she had cum on Beca.

"OHMYGODSONOTFUNNY!" Beca shouted, but her lip was twitching. "Chloe!" She cried. "Damn it! It's not funny!" But she was starting to laugh too.

How could Chloe not laugh? This situation was absurd!

"YOU CAME ON ME!"

"Shhhh!" Chloe hissed, her eyes going wide.

" _What_?" Stacie's voice shouted from the next room over.

"Oh shit!" Beca ducked like Stacie could see her.

"Nothing, Stace!" Chloe cried. "Beca!"

"No!" Beca cried, but in a hiss, her eyes still overly bright with laughter. "No! You _came_ on me!"

"I'm sorry!" Chloe whispered back, reaching for her hand and squeezing. "I promise I'll make it up to you!"

Beca's eyebrows rose.

"I don't know Beca! I don't know what to say! If it helps, I was dreaming about you."

Beca's head jerked up so hard that she overbalanced and fell with a grunt onto her butt, only to shoot jerk around, grabbing at the shirt. "Oh god, I can feel it on my skin!" A look of pure horror on her face, Beca reached and ripped the shirt over her head.

Chloe's laughter stopped at once, not in a trickle but instantly in a hard stop.

Beca craned on the floor, trying again to see her back and as she twisted a solid line of normally unexposed ab muscles rippled, a sign of all of her work as a Bella.

"Beca, put your shirt back on!" Chloe cried, if not a little nonsensically.

Beca looked up confused, the swell of her breasts too visible in her flimsy cotton bra.

She could not! She couldn't, not now! She felt the blood beginning to move, all pooling in one place. "Oh god!" She cried, embarrassed all over again as her pants began to tent. "Damn it!" She did her best to hide her face and the tent at the same time, which did not work.

"Chlo, what's wr – ooooh." Beca cliked her tongue from her spot on the floor.

Between her fingers, Chloe looked at Beca and blushed. "I can't help it!" She cried. She felt dirty. In the last five minutes she had realized she had cum on her best friend and then gotten another erection. What was _happening_ to her? She was really turning into a teenager, a teenage boy no less.

"What happened?"

"Beca!" Chloe hissed, rolling her eyes. "Come on!" She waved her hand in her direction, her other planted firmly in her lap, trying to hide herself.

Beca stared at the tent, blinking. "You got a… you got a… because I took my shirt off?"

Chloe didn't answer. She wasn't sure how she could answer without saying something like 'duh'. So instead she pulled her soiled shirt off as well, uncomfortable with it against her stomach. With a dry part of the skirt she began wiping at her skin.

Was this life for boys?

She had to think not since no one had ever accidently ejaculated on her.

A strange noise came from the floor and Chloe looked up.

Beca's face was purple, her eyes pointedly on the floor. She wasn't smiling, or even kind of laughing. Instead she looked humiliated.

"Oh." Chloe frowned, looking down at her bare chest. Beca had seen her naked so many times, she hadn't thought twice about bearing herself again. Normally she would tease Beca a little for the way she blushed when she saw Chloe's body, but there was something in Beca's face that stopped her. She wasn't laughing, she wasn't blushing like usual. This wasn't a funny blush. A little confused she pulled the sheet up over her breasts. "Sorry."

Beca gave a little shrug. "It's fine." But she didn't look back up.

Chloe wanted to roll her eyes. Last night Beca had been all about seeing her naked, now this morning she was embarrassed again. She didn't understand her.

"So, when will it go away?" Beca asked, throwing a tentative glance at the tent between Chloe's hips.

Chloe bit her lip, looking at the curve of Beca's bra line and had to laugh a little. "Probably not until you put on a shirt, Bec." It was honest, still in her mind she saw a scene unfolding thanks to it.

Her words seemed to startle Beca deeply. She blinked up at her for a moment, her face red. "Um. Err. Yeah." She got up and went to Chloe's dresser, grabbed a shirt and tossed one at Chloe too.

"Thanks," she chirped and smiled but it was forced. She was almost disappointed. Okay, she was disappointed, she had to admit. Her mind had concocted this idea of what could happen, what _would_ happen but instead, well, it hadn't. There had been no pleasure at Chloe's confession, no… she didn't know what she had expected. Instead, Beca came to sit on her bed again, her eyes still over large, her face twitching a little, her fingers drumming on nothing.

Chloe couldn't help but to ridicule herself. Life wasn't a porn or a romance film. Still, she imagined pulling Beca to her, touching her gently, _showing_ her how true her words were. She wanted to _show_ Beca how attracted to her she was, how much she liked her. That had been true for a long time.

"It's because you're horny?"

The question made Chloe jump and blanch. _Why_ did Beca sound so confused? They made out all of the time. They made out the night before. Was it really so baffling that she would be aroused by Beca shirtless?

"I have it because I'm attracted to you."

"Uh huh," Beca said. There was something flat in her voice that left a bitter taste in Chloe's mouth. This was all going wrong somehow. That thought doused her in cold water and the last remnants of her arousal disappeared.

"Okay to my defense, Bec, you took your shirt off! You haven't done that since I got one of these. That's how I _always_ feel when your shirt comes off."

"Feel what way?" Beca asked in an uncharacteristically low voice.

Chloe laughed, a little dryly. "In a way that would give me one of these… oh my god, Beca, what's wrong with you right now?"

Beca looked a little like she was choking. "What? Nothing!"

Chloe didn't buy it and so she just watched her, waiting.

Beca, apparently, wasn't going to give in and so she just stared back.

"Bec?"

Beca jumped and finally spoke, her look stormy. "So, um, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna shower." She said, cocking a thumb over her shoulder.

"Okay." Chloe smiled widely at her. She was surprised she hadn't run for the shower sooner.

"Then I uh, I need some breakfast."

The smile faded. Oh. She wasn't coming back. She was running. She had decided it was too much for her.

"Oh." She said as the realization fully sunk in. _Oh._ "Okay," Chloe said with a nod, all want to tease or to laugh having melted away.

"So errr," Beca wasn't looking at her. Chloe watched Beca not look at her and could have sworn her heart was shattering. "Yeah, okay. I'll uh, I'll see you later."

Chloe just looked at her and with the pressure of her gaze Beca's shoulders hunched.

"I'm just not sure this is for me, okay?"

The words were a slap. Chloe nodded, her face down to hide her dejection. She had known that would be true. She had gotten this _thing_ wishing for Beca but she had been sure it would be too much.

It turned out that it was.

Chloe skipped breakfast that morning, embarrassed. The morning had started off great and then had morphed into horrible within moments, never recovering. She couldn't face her, she just couldn't. She couldn't face anyone. An hour after Beca had left her room Chloe had heard her phone chime. It had been a text from Stacie saying, "So you came on the Cap, huh?" Under the words had been a little high five emoji. Another text had followed it. "I heard the shouting through the wall." She had put her phone down without answering.

Her thoughts swirled all morning, beating against her.

She had wanted Beca to come back to bed with her. She had wanted to touch her and to taste her, but how could she have? She was a freak now. What would she have done? Used this new thing on Beca? For the first time she hated it, she wished it would go away. She missed her smooth body where nothing stuck out like a rod, where everything was soft and feminine. She wanted to remove it and its memory from her life. It had ruined her body. It had ruined her chances with Beca. It was horrible.

By lunch she had given in and begun to cry, unsure what to do now. What did she say to Beca? She had cum on her. She had gotten an erection right in front of her face. She was gross. She felt _so_ dirty.

Her phone chimed again at some point and once again it was Stacie. "Beca said you're upstairs crying and that she did it. Do you want drinks or for me to kick her scrawny ass?"

The text was nice. It was great to feel cared for.

It only made her cry more.

When there was finally a knock at her door she didn't have to ask who it was. She knew it would be Beca. No one else could make a knock sound contrite. Stacie would have just blown in without asking and all the other girls would have waited until she showed some sign on wanting to talk.

She didn't invite Beca in but she came in anyway.

Chloe's face was hidden in her pillow, trying not to show that she was probably red and blotchy and snotty.

It wasn't her thing.

She really really really couldn't blame her for that.

"Chlo." Beca's voice was small.

Chloe ignored her. "I'm so sorry, Beca," she muttered into her pillow. "I'm _so_ sorry."

"…For what?"

The open confusion in Beca's voice finally made her look up. "What do you mean for what?" She sobbed. "I'm a freak now and this morning was _horrible_."

"What? You're not a freak, Chlo."

Chloe gave a scoff, wiping her eyes with her hand.

The bed dipped beside her as Beca sat down.

"Chlo?"

"Hmm?"

"Chloe? Look at me."

Chloe shook her head. She didn't want to. She didn't want to see that look on her face again.

"Hey." Beca pulled her face up and gently kissed her cheek.

Chloe blinked, the simple sweetness of the gesture making Chloe's cheeks warm.

"I'm sorry, Chloe. I'm sorry I'm, ugh, I'm such a _shitty_ friend. You're not a freak. It's totally my fault that you think so and that's not cool."

"I _am_ a freak, Bec! How can you say I'm not?"

"You're not. You just have this freaky thing happening to you."

"Oh come on, Beca, I came on you, got _another_ erection and then you ran away! You ran away from me. Again. You _told me_ this isn't your thing and of course it's not, I'm a-"

" _You're not a freak, Chloe."_

She didn't want to argue with her so she said nothing.

Beca was silent for so long that though she genuinely didn't want to, Chloe looked up, needing to see what was on her face.

She didn't understand what she saw.

"What?" She asked. "What is it?"

Beca cleared her throat and then, her gaze moved so she was staring pointedly above Chloe's head. She looked guilty, far too guilty.

"You have a secret!" Chloe realized in wonder. "What is it?"

"Wha – it's not – I don't-"

"Oh my god, Beca! You _have_ to tell me!"

Beca's eyes rolled in an almost laugh.

"Beca, I already feel badly enough."

"I know," Beca told the ceiling. "I did the thing again. I said something shitty that I didn't mean and now you're crying."

Hope lit like a small flame in her chest. "You didn't mean it?"

Beca crumpled forward, hiding her face and groaning. "Noooo."

"But-"

"Okay, fine!" Beca sat up so fast that it made Chloe flinch away. "You're not the freak, Chlo, I am!"

"What do you mean? Bec, you're not making any sense."

"Hot!" Beca exploded. "Hot, okay? Hot! I think it's kind of hot."

Chloe's world exploded behind her eyes. She… she _what_? "What?" She cried.

Beca's face turned pink, then red, then purple as she held her breath, holding in the explanation that Chloe most certainly needed.

"Bec!"

"Well, _you're_ kind of hot, so it's whatever."

Chloe's mouth fell open, but before the smile could form, before she could celebrate a thought came and it blew everything else out of the water. "Oh. It's because you like me better like this, don't you?" The tears had subsided minutes before but suddenly they were back in full force, pouring down her face. Her wish had been right. Beca liked her more like this than before. She only liked her now because she was half guy!

"What? No! No! Not that it's bad or anything but I like it because now I can _see_ when you're into something. Like when I took my shirt off. You got hard. It just made my brain all stupid."

"Really?" Chloe's smile was wet with tears but it began to grow again.

"Really."

Beca's smile felt like a salve on her wounds. "Promise?"

Beca smiled her very best Beca-smile. "Promise."

A/N: Thanks everyone who has been reading and thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I'm super happy that no one seems to be taking this too seriously and instead is just enjoying this weird ass ride with me. Much love! Next chapter when I can!


	6. Not an update

NOT AN UPDATE!

Just wanted to drop you guys a line and say this is still coming. Anyone who follows my stuff knows i don't usually post stories until i have written them to completion for this exact reason. Sometimes things happen! Well. I broke my hand. Tripping over my damn cat, no less. But it was my dominate hand which means I'm out of commission for at least a month. So hang in there! More of this is coming! Just gonna be on hiatus for a few weeks.


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